WONDER BIBLE |
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zippyjet
Junior Executive Joined: 30 Nov 2010 Location: Baltimore, Md. Status: Offline Points: 1998 |
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Posted: 08 Jan 2018 at 11:19pm |
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Late night TV/networks like Decades are a treasure trove of bad commercials for WTF BUT WIT THERE'S MORE products that we didn't know we needed. Along comes the Wonder Bible. Looks like a little radio or charging device with a big fat cross. You can have your bible and hear it too 24/7. The guy's voice is deep broadcast quality but creepy clown sounding. And bonus hyms and gospells. Where |
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zippyjet
Junior Executive Joined: 30 Nov 2010 Location: Baltimore, Md. Status: Offline Points: 1998 |
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Where are the one's with a Star Of David and Jackie Mason's voice? How bout a Muslim one with the moon logo and an announcer with a Middle East accent? This commercial borders funny. God please forgive me if I'm shaking any burning bushes. |
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MrTim
Ad Exec Joined: 15 Apr 2008 Status: Offline Points: 10421 |
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You'd want the Wonder Torah and Wonder Koran for those...
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aka ron
Honor Roll Joined: 11 Apr 2009 Location: WI Status: Offline Points: 33539 |
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timdubya
Honor Roll Joined: 03 May 2008 Location: Nebraska Status: Offline Points: 1356 |
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I wonder if that guy who has it in his car will have his fly off the console in a hard turn?
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zippyjet
Junior Executive Joined: 30 Nov 2010 Location: Baltimore, Md. Status: Offline Points: 1998 |
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Possible oops moment. Suppose it goes off with strange messages in tongue or levitates while driving? Imagine causing a multi car pileup/carbeque on I-95? Driving while distracted, the devil made me do it. Or, imagine if that car got jacked and the carjacker didn't realize a talking bible was on the console and it started croaking prophetic verse!
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Anduril
Junior Executive Joined: 23 Sep 2014 Location: USA Status: Offline Points: 2144 |
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I wonder if it floats?
Or, can survive being eaten by a whale. Or, if it can turn into a pillar of salt. Or, if it can have mini-wonder bible offspring via supernatural conception. Or, if it can morph into frogs, lice or locusts (see: Plagues of Egypt.) Or, if you throw it just right, can it part the Red Sea? I'll stop now (before I get hit by lightning or something)... |
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MrTim
Ad Exec Joined: 15 Apr 2008 Status: Offline Points: 10421 |
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^^ I'd be more worried if it started talking strange & spitting gushes of pea soup. Excorcisms of your device probably aren't covered under the warranty or service plan...
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usmaak
Junior Executive Joined: 23 Dec 2014 Location: CO Status: Offline Points: 1571 |
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Unless you buy the extended service plan. Only $59.95 for three years of coverage!
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tikibagger
Junior Executive Joined: 12 Dec 2014 Location: AZ Status: Offline Points: 3848 |
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And .of course, Wonder Bible is TAX EXEMPT and totally non-prophet!
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...YUMMY Broccolini!!....
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zippyjet
Junior Executive Joined: 30 Nov 2010 Location: Baltimore, Md. Status: Offline Points: 1998 |
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Don't you know in China they are making a red one with 666 and a goat devil motif on it that talks in tongue, spits out pea soup and talks in that deep satin voice! |
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MrTim
Ad Exec Joined: 15 Apr 2008 Status: Offline Points: 10421 |
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Unfortunately, most people would hold the phone upside down and wonder what the '999' means...
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zippyjet
Junior Executive Joined: 30 Nov 2010 Location: Baltimore, Md. Status: Offline Points: 1998 |
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Could stand for Herman Kain and 999
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aka ron
Honor Roll Joined: 11 Apr 2009 Location: WI Status: Offline Points: 33539 |
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I just had to bring this back so I could dissect it, it makes me laugh!
Oh sure, get those chillins on the right track! The fake smiles are puke worthy! A source of inspiration...until the thing goes on the floor and under your brake pedal. Let's hope you don't have that 'cut rate' car insurance. For reflective contemplation? I'll bet that girl is sorry she plucked her own eyeballs out! Spiritual restoration? "Don't worry, honey. The lord will pay all of these bills" But just in case, you're still a hottie! I don't mind if you work nights, it is the oldest profession. We can call your new employers 'Johns', things are looking up. Thank God!! |
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ALE515
Junior Executive Joined: 22 Mar 2013 Location: Sunshine State Status: Offline Points: 592 |
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Ya know Easter is on April Fools, this could make quite the gag gift!
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Ad nauseous
Revolutionary Joined: 15 Apr 2008 Location: Connecticut Status: Offline Points: 23601 |
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^ aka ron those comments OMG! ROFL (Darts back and forth avoiding lightning strikes)
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One good thing about TV-you could always turn it off
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zippyjet
Junior Executive Joined: 30 Nov 2010 Location: Baltimore, Md. Status: Offline Points: 1998 |
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Thanks a lot! I was perusing your posts while eating chicken. Boned bird that is I laughed so hard. "Hey honey, I bet the Lord will forgive you for turning tricks but to be sure, footjobs only! Also imagine your WB plugged up to a device while device is plugged into outlet. You are taking a tub bath or dropping those kids at the pool and your cat cuddles up to the WB and it gets Baptized! What a way to go! |
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Jimbo
Honor Roll Joined: 19 Apr 2008 Location: Florida Status: Offline Points: 56959 |
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What would be funny is if someone who works for the company who puts the digital audio on the sound chip was able to put a bunch of hard core Satanic heavy metal right in the middle of every "chapter" or book as they are called in the Bible.
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...the ads take aim and lay their claim to the heart and the soul of the spender
Jackson Browne - The Pretender C'mon, man! Joe Biden - 46th President of the United States |
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PaWolf
Revolutionary Hoary Ol' Chestnut... doncha know.... Joined: 15 Apr 2008 Location: GreatWhiteNorth Status: Offline Points: 40769 |
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^^^reminds me of the speaking 'Gremlin' toys Wallyworld once sold - and somehow, out of sheer luck I actually found, that had recorded cursing. I KNEW it was going to be worth a mint, but the Missus highly disapproved and it finally disappeared. How about a few choice phrases before each hard-core intro?
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X <sig.nature>
"What we do for ourselves dies with us, What we do for others is and remains immortal." - Albert Pike |
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Anduril
Junior Executive Joined: 23 Sep 2014 Location: USA Status: Offline Points: 2144 |
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They should put a G-Force sensor in it so that when you have a fatal car accident it starts playing.. "The Lord is my shepherd; I shall not want..." Now THAT would be a real hoot for EMS first responders!
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aka ron
Honor Roll Joined: 11 Apr 2009 Location: WI Status: Offline Points: 33539 |
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NSFW! |
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Jimbo
Honor Roll Joined: 19 Apr 2008 Location: Florida Status: Offline Points: 56959 |
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I would've put some 2 Live Crew "Nasty As They Wanna Be" over the video. |
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...the ads take aim and lay their claim to the heart and the soul of the spender
Jackson Browne - The Pretender C'mon, man! Joe Biden - 46th President of the United States |
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Ad nauseous
Revolutionary Joined: 15 Apr 2008 Location: Connecticut Status: Offline Points: 23601 |
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OMG!
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One good thing about TV-you could always turn it off
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zippyjet
Junior Executive Joined: 30 Nov 2010 Location: Baltimore, Md. Status: Offline Points: 1998 |
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LMOF! |
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commercialssuck
Junior Executive Joined: 24 Jan 2015 Location: Heartland USA Status: Offline Points: 447 |
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I see what you did there! Non-prophet (because, you know bible...religion...prophet) Surprised no one else caught your play on words. |
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