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This Just In! Late Breaking News

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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote MrTim Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Topic: This Just In! Late Breaking News
    Posted: 4 hours 7 minutes ago at 5:38am
Justice Department sends Trump a peace offering to apologize for their spying;  President returns Amazon Alexa device to them, with a note saying "Nice try"



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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote MrTim Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: Yesterday at 6:37am
New method of hot waxing reportedly painless;  However, it leaves the area looking "like freshly plucked chicken skin"
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote MrTim Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 16 Apr 2019 at 5:42am
Hunchback of Notre Dame now homeless;  Devastating fire destroys Paris cathedral, much history Cry
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote MrTim Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 15 Apr 2019 at 6:10am
People discovering that Alexa can be an awesome party machine;  With proper commands, Alexa can make continuous fart noises and porno moans, often at the same time
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote MrTim Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 14 Apr 2019 at 5:21am
More people will be attending church this Sunday than on Easter;  Most are praying that they will get their taxes in on time the next day
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote MrTim Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 12 Apr 2019 at 5:49am
Martha Stewart, she's not:  Lori Loughlin reportedly in panic about going to prison;  "Shoulda taken the plea deal" many say


https://www.foxnews.com/entertainment/lori-loughlin-reportedly-in-panic-mode-at-potential-prison-time-for-college-admissions-scandal
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote MrTim Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 10 Apr 2019 at 5:14am
 [ I deleted this one, because it's really horrible, and don't want it to give people ideas about actually doing it. ]
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote MrTim Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 09 Apr 2019 at 5:23am
Gillette to double down on their female razor with a "Shave The Whales!" ad campaign;  Skinny waifs urged to keep bandages handy in case of possible nicks & cuts


https://www.thegatewaypundit.com/2019/04/gillette-venus-celebrates-morbid-obesity-in-new-sjw-ad-promoting-beautiful-women-of-all-shapes-and-sizes/
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote MrTim Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 08 Apr 2019 at 6:09am
Do you have a bad diet?  Do you also smoke?  Then you should be dead by now;  Study also shows that it is easier to quit eating than to quit smoking


https://www.sciencealert.com/bad-diets-kill-more-people-around-the-world-than-smoking-says-a-new-study
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote MrTim Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 06 Apr 2019 at 6:49am
People who seem to stare off into the distance may actually be looking at something a lot closer;  Watching strangely shaped floaters move around in your eyes can be mesmerizing, say researchers
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote MrTim Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 05 Apr 2019 at 6:23am
Do people tell you not to get a swollen head?  You may not have a choice;  Scientists say your head temporarily swells 1 to 3mm in size when you are praised or are proud of an achievement
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote MrTim Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 03 Apr 2019 at 5:40am
Do you like avocados?  BETTER STOCK UP NOW, B*TCHES!  Trump's border closing to cut off imports from Mexico;  Paltry California crop won't be ready for another month or longer, prices expected to skyrocket
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote MrTim Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 31 Mar 2019 at 5:49am
Drunk online shopping a multi-billion dollar national habit;  Amazon especially loves blotto customers, makes 'Buy-It-Now' buttons very visible


https://www.zerohedge.com/news/2019-03-27/guess-how-much-americans-spend-online-while-drunk
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote MrTim Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 30 Mar 2019 at 5:12am
Flat Earth supporters planning an Antarctic expedition to the edge of the world;  Brave adventurers will bring along parachutes in case they fall off


https://www.forbes.com/sites/jimdobson/2019/03/16/flat-earth-supporters-now-plan-an-antarctica-expedition-to-the-edge-of-the-world/#bf0bfe659165
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote MrTim Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 28 Mar 2019 at 5:15am
California decrees new warning label addition for alcoholic beverages:  "Warning:  Your dog may hump your face if you pass out drunk from consuming this product";  Journalists curious as to which legislators this happened to
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote MrTim Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 27 Mar 2019 at 5:17am
Absolutely Amazing Tourist Spots You Must Visit Before You Die:  Nevada Nuclear Test Site night tour gets glowing reviews
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote MrTim Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 26 Mar 2019 at 5:18am
Surprising Science Fact:  The odor of flatulance can travel as far and faster than the world record for the 50 yard dash;  Many athletes shocked to discover their own 'exhausts' often beat them to the finish line
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote MrTim Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 24 Mar 2019 at 4:06am
Hackers accessing doorbell cameras through smartphone app glitch;  Miscreants making doorbell ring when nobody is at door, or splice in gif of an impatient scary clown with an ax waiting outside
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote MrTim Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 22 Mar 2019 at 4:31am
Aging superhero has major incontinence issues;  Superman searching for Super-Depends;  Persons under his flight path urged to seek cover or purchase Kevlar umbrellas
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote MrTim Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 20 Mar 2019 at 4:56am
Mayor DiBlasio proposing to build a landfill barrier around NYC to protect it against sea level rise;  Wall of garbage expected to reach 100 feet high, maybe more
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote MrTim Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 18 Mar 2019 at 5:12am
Good News For Men:  Your hair loss may not be genetic;  Sleep researchers discover that cockroaches can stealthily crawl onto your scalp and eat your hair follicles while you sleep
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote MrTim Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 16 Mar 2019 at 4:48am
Flat Earthers feeling their oats again;  Still-existing cult taunting those who believe that the Earth is a globe by saying "they are just going around in circles"
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote MrTim Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 14 Mar 2019 at 4:38am
People freaking out and panicking over Facebook shutdowns;  Health officials say withdrawal effects for media addicts "worse than that for heroin or cigarettes"
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote MrTim Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 13 Mar 2019 at 4:24am
Travel Advice and Warning:  When flying, don't drink anything with blue ice cubes;  Insiders say they are recycled
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote MrTim Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 12 Mar 2019 at 4:46am
Hockey History You Didn't Know:  The original "Stanley Cup" was a locker room thing
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