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This Just In! Late Breaking News

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    Posted: 19 hours 16 minutes ago at 5:42am
Shoppers warned to "Be vigilant!";  This may happen to you:

fake 20200812 01.jpg


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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote MrTim Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 11 Aug 2020 at 5:52am
University of Georgia urging students to wear masks while having sex;  But for getting all sloppy & sharing other bodily fluids, "Go for it!"

https://www.dailywire.com/news/university-of-georgia-says-students-should-consider-wearing-a-mask-during-sex-report?%3Futm_source=twitter&utm_medium=social&utm_campaign=dwtwitter
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote MrTim Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 09 Aug 2020 at 6:40am
National Park Service issues new safety advice for visitors:  "Please don't run from bears or push your slower friends down in attempts of saving yourself"

https://www.facebook.com/nationalparkservice/posts/10157206218541389?utm_source=fark&utm_medium=website&utm_content=link&ICID=ref_fark
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote MrTim Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 08 Aug 2020 at 5:40am
Weekly Conspiracy Sites Update:  US Marines sent to secure Antarctica pyramids after Nazi penguins spotted nearby;  Hitler's brain heard gibbering to itself over radio as it was flown away to safety in a UFO
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote MrTim Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 06 Aug 2020 at 5:28am

Iran attempts propaganda stunt by attacking fake US warship;  They accidentally sink the ship and block entry to their main Naval Port


https://www.thesun.co.uk/news/12308432/iran-humiliated-sinking-fake-us-warship-blocking-entry-port/
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote MrTim Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 04 Aug 2020 at 5:40am
Group of activists outraged after a black bear was recently seen in Asheville NC with a political sticker on its collar;  On the plus side, the bear is safe from local hunters


https://ktxs.com/news/nation-world/reward-offered-for-information-on-who-put-trump-2020-sticker-on-bear?fbclid=IwAR3ZdrDFAIqs58FgDGvG2OmuC7ieB7vBJmnkXBfQt4fkyoGgS5shsC6SOes
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote MrTim Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 03 Aug 2020 at 5:50am
Last resting places of Betty Boop and friends discovered;  Iconic cartoon characters' burial site found after being lost for decades; Location to remain private, for now
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote MrTim Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 01 Aug 2020 at 5:34am
Spiders are smarter than you think:  Many species can extract sex hormones from their victims to attract more prey to their webs;  Horny teens most at risk
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote MrTim Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 29 Jul 2020 at 6:07am
President to go on live TV to prove to everyone "how safe" the vaccination shot is;  Trump will turn to Dr. Fauci, and jab him with the hypo


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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote MrTim Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 28 Jul 2020 at 5:57am

breaking news 20200727 01.jpg

Seattle and Portland PD's expected to follow suit
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote MrTim Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 25 Jul 2020 at 5:57am
History made as two famous lesbian cartoon squirrels marry;  Rocky the Flying Squirrel and Sandy Cheeks (of Spongebob Squarepants fame) wed in well-attended ceremony; "Brides" respectively given away by Bullwinkle and Patrick Starfish
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote MrTim Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 24 Jul 2020 at 6:40am
Preview of Fall 2020 TV Season:  Due to production shutdowns because of virus, expect lots of clip shows, celebrity obit specials, and more celebrities doing boring remote video interviews;  Weather channels expected to have more viewers than cable news networks
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote MrTim Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 23 Jul 2020 at 6:04am
Mask mandates not affecting the psychotic killer clowns running through your neighborhood at night;  Most caught on camera are wearing skull teeth or bloody fangs masks over their mouths;  Concerned officials say not to call 911 to deal with them, but to instead summon social workers who can help these misunderstood individuals
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote MrTim Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 21 Jul 2020 at 5:58am
Sales expected to skyrocket after Red Bull clears out it's "social justice warrior" employees;  Two top CEOs and entire marketing teams let go in massive 'firing massacre'

https://www.revolver.news/2020/07/red-bull-fires-black-lives-matter-employees/
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote MrTim Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 20 Jul 2020 at 6:40am
Mickey & Minnie Mouse accused of being in blackface;  BLM and Antifa protestors begin laying seige to Cinderella's castle
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote MrTim Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 18 Jul 2020 at 6:13am
Research shows that there have been three Chinese internet bots created for every person on Earth;  Fortunately, most are lazy and tend to 'stalk' each other on Facebook rather than bother other websites
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote MrTim Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 16 Jul 2020 at 6:12am
Burger King changing it's beef to taste 33% less like cow farts;  BK feeding cows lemongrass to reduce bovine methane emissions, but some experts call bullsh*t
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote MrTim Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 14 Jul 2020 at 6:14am
Sports Illustrated to Feature First "Trans" Model In Its Swimsuit Edition;  To Make It More Interesting, They Won't Tell You Who It Is!
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote MrTim Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 13 Jul 2020 at 6:08am
Do you sometimes think that particular songs or music stinks? It may be true!  Neurologists say that you can actually smell sounds when certain parts of your brain get overactive
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote MrTim Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 12 Jul 2020 at 5:33am
National Parks issue warning: "Do not approach any bears that are not wearing masks.  They may have COVID-19";  Prudent visitors also avoiding other non-mask wearing animals, though some have been fooled by raccoons
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote MrTim Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 10 Jul 2020 at 5:47am
Grade-school kids organizing protests to reopen schools this fall;  "We can't stand our parents anymore, and want to go back to school!"; Students attending colleges & universities also upset at having to pay full tuition for remote learning
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote MrTim Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 08 Jul 2020 at 5:53am
Land O Lake's Indian maiden to be replaced by iconic North American river mammal;  New buck-toothed furry animal will be known as "Little Beaver" after winning popular vote in naming contest
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote MrTim Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 05 Jul 2020 at 5:37am
Time to buy new shoes? New study says if you want longer toes, then let your toe nails grow out;  Your toes can grow up to a millimeter longer trying to keep up with nail growth
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote MrTim Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 04 Jul 2020 at 6:04am
Senate accidentally passes bill to stop paying dead people;  Though they can no longer donate their money to PACs, most can still vote


https://dailycaller.com/2020/07/02/senate-accidentally-passes-bill-stop-paying-dead-people-rand-paul/
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote MrTim Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 03 Jul 2020 at 6:34am
Is Hamilton next?  The hit musical, now a movie, celebrates the American Founding so unabashedly that it could be a ripe target for cancellation
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