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MrTim 
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Joined: 15 Apr 2008 Status: Offline Points: 10218 |
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 Posted: 04 Nov 2022 at 5:27am |
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The Annual Halloween ER Report: Abductions/probings by extraterrestrials nil, as usual, because they are confused by all the strange costumes; Fewer kids reporting broken teeth this year, having become wise to not eating the rocks being dropped into their trick-or-treat bags
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MrTim
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Posted: 05 Nov 2022 at 5:27am |
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Consumer survey finds that boneless chicken in grocery stores bothers many people; Most were asking "How did it walk?"
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MrTim
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Posted: 07 Nov 2022 at 7:09am |
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Surprising fact: Bug experts say you are never more than three feet from a spider, anywhere in the world; And, they say, you often swallow 20 or more each night you sleep
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MrTim
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Posted: 08 Nov 2022 at 6:37am |
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Election analysts say that the 120% turnout in some urban areas could be decisive; "Deceased voters can be a major upsetting factor in many locales"
also in: Whoopi Goldberg claims she's quitting Twitter over Elon Musk: 'I'm out'; "I’m — I’m getting off. I’m getting off today because I just feel like, you know, it’s so messy," Goldberg said https://www.foxnews.com/media/whoopi-goldberg-claims-quitting-twitter-elon-musk-out (Raise your hand if you threw up a little in your mouth after reading that...) |
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MrTim
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Posted: 11 Nov 2022 at 7:11am |
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Did you hate brussels sprouts when you were a kid? Scientists say they taste better now than they did 50 years ago
https://www.mentalfloss.com/posts/do-brussels-sprouts-taste-better-now-yes-here-s-why-01ghed9q8dr8
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MrTim
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Posted: 12 Nov 2022 at 7:44am |
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Vote counting in Arizona still going slooowly; Arizona election officials blaming Florida's hurricane Nicole for the delay
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MrTim
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Posted: 16 Nov 2022 at 6:45am |
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Trapped without food in the wilderness? Need to order a quick snack while watching TV? Just call for an edible drone!
https://www.cnet.com/science/edible-drone-flies-to-the-rescue-with-snackable-wings/?ftag=CAD-03-10abf2b |
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MrTim
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Posted: 20 Nov 2022 at 6:53am |
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Woman who eats diet of bugs, mealworms and ants insists crickets taste ‘just like fried chicken’; Everybody else giving her questionable looks, replying "No thanks, we'll stick with Chik-fil-a"
https://metro.co.uk/2022/11/17/woman-who-eats-bugs-and-insects-says-crickets-taste-like-chicken-17775245/?ito=push-notification&ci=d4QG7DidUw&cri=31dz7FlR4J&si=32291327&xi=0b64ba8b-206b-407c-9945-c007b78d9477&ai=17775245 |
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MrTim
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Posted: 22 Nov 2022 at 6:43am |
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Eurotrash kickball being played in Qatar; Fans of losing teams can't even cry in their beer, because it's mostly banned in the country
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MrTim
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Posted: 24 Nov 2022 at 6:34am |
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Weirdoes want you to feed bugs to your pets; They also want you to eat bugs, even if the thought of flossing legs from between your teeth disturbs you (you'll get used to it)
https://www.lifesitenews.com/news/cnn-report-says-pets-add-to-climate-crisis-suggests-americans-feed-dogs-insect-based-food/ |
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MrTim
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Posted: 30 Nov 2022 at 6:05am |
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Amazing scientific breakthrough announced: Good news, men! A splashback-free urinal has been invented; No word on when a workable womens urinal will be developed
https://arstechnica.com/science/2022/11/the-angle-at-which-dogs-pee-inspired-optimal-design-for-splash-free-urinal/amp/ |
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MrTim
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Posted: 08 Dec 2022 at 6:32am |
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You can now go topless on Nantucket beaches; Though you may still want to cover those puppies up when the weather gets really, really cold, say locals
https://www.boston.com/news/local-news/2022/12/06/nantucket-topless-beaches-bylaw-approved-attorney-general-maura-healey/?utm_source=fark&utm_medium=website&utm_content=link&ICID=ref_fark |
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MrTim
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Posted: 09 Dec 2022 at 6:41am |
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Survey finds that Americans are nicer than Canadians on airplane flights; Canadians not being able to handle low-alcoholic beverages might be a factor
https://nypost.com/2019/06/13/americans-are-nicer-than-canadians-airplane-etiquette-survey-reports/ |
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MrTim
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Posted: 18 Dec 2022 at 6:13am |
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Pole dancer demonstrates 'painful' reason why she can't perform fully clothed; Performer fell off a pole while trying to pose in jogging pants, says she "won't try to do that again!"
https://www.dailystar.co.uk/real-life/pole-dancer-demonstrates-painful-reason-28724615#source=push |
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MrTim
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Posted: 19 Dec 2022 at 6:38am |
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Grocery stores in Australia recalling hallucinogenic spinach, warning not to smoke or eat it; Source is apparently Jimson weed contamination, which can cause hallucinations, also convulsions, and death
https://futurism.com/neoscope/grocery-stores-recall-hallucinogenic-spinach |
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MrTim
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Posted: 21 Dec 2022 at 5:37am |
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This warning may or may not be directed at people who post on TikTok:
https://nypost.com/2022/12/20/dont-masturbate-with-christmas-ornaments-doctor-warns/?utm_source=fark&utm_medium=website&utm_content=link&ICID=ref_fark (Go on, you know you want to read it...  ) |
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MrTim
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Posted: 23 Dec 2022 at 6:13am |
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All over America this Christmas season, parents are HOPING their kids are on the naughty list; They need the coal to heat the house
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MrTim
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Posted: 25 Dec 2022 at 5:36am |
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Breaking
NY Gov. Kathy Hochul on widespread blizzard: "It's very clear to me that the effects of climate change are wreaking havoc everywhere."; Mocking third-graders tell her "It's called 'winter', b*tch." |
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MrTim
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Posted: 26 Dec 2022 at 6:02am |
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The post-Christmas Report: Santa didn't eat all of the cookies that kids left for him; He did, however, finish off all of the booze parents put out
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MrTim
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Posted: 29 Dec 2022 at 6:07am |
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From the "Things we don't want to know about but can't resist looking at" file:
https://12ft.io/proxy?q=https%3A%2F%2Fdefector.com%2Fwhat-did-we-get-stuck-in-our-rectums-last-year-3%2F%3Futm_source%3Dfark%26utm_medium%3Dwebsite%26utm_content%3Dlink%26ICID%3Dref_fark (No, sorry, no mention of a bowling ball... ) |
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MrTim
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Posted: 02 Jan 2023 at 6:24am |
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Optimism returning to the nation; It's eleven months until Christmas, and people already have their decorations up
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radioandnascarfan
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Joined: 19 Nov 2019 Location: Toledo, OH Status: Offline Points: 2438 |
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Posted: 05 Jan 2023 at 6:49pm |
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A couple I know waits until MLK day to take their's down.
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MrTim
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Posted: 06 Jan 2023 at 6:09am |
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Unlike the Babylon Bee, we bring you the real news:
https://www.heraldsun.com.au/technology/science/new-years-eve-fireworks-cancelled-because-of-masturbating-walrus/news-story/bc08e936c536e5c78a6af6cdc2b5a2e7 |
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MrTim
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Posted: 07 Jan 2023 at 6:39am |
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Survey finds that most people feel safe from UFO abductions by day; After dark, however, there was definitely an elevated risk level
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MrTim
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Posted: 11 Jan 2023 at 5:52am |
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Gov't warns not to eat your Christmas tree; (If you have to be told not to eat your tree, you probably should do everybody a favor and just eat your tree)
https://sylg1.wordpress.com/2023/01/10/do-not-eat-your-christmas-tree/ |
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I quite like Brussels sprouts, we have them about once a week with
dinner. After I've cut the ends and discarded the loose leaves, I toss
them in olive oil, season them with Tony Chachere's cajun seasoning and
cook them in a 400 degree convection oven for 10-12 minutes. Delicious.
What's your favorite way to prepare them?