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This Just In! Late Breaking News

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MrTim View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote MrTim Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 04 Nov 2022 at 5:27am
The Annual Halloween ER Report:  Abductions/probings by extraterrestrials nil, as usual, because they are confused by all the strange costumes;  Fewer kids reporting broken teeth this year, having become wise to not eating the rocks being dropped into their trick-or-treat bags
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote MrTim Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 05 Nov 2022 at 5:27am
Consumer survey finds that boneless chicken in grocery stores bothers many people;  Most were asking "How did it walk?"


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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote MrTim Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 07 Nov 2022 at 7:09am
Surprising fact:  Bug experts say you are never more than three feet from a spider, anywhere in the world;  And, they say, you often swallow 20 or more each night you sleep
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote MrTim Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 08 Nov 2022 at 6:37am
Election analysts say that the 120% turnout in some urban areas could be decisive;  "Deceased voters can be a major upsetting factor in many locales"

also in:

Whoopi Goldberg claims she's quitting Twitter over Elon Musk: 'I'm out';  "I’m — I’m getting off. I’m getting off today because I just feel like, you know, it’s so messy," Goldberg said

https://www.foxnews.com/media/whoopi-goldberg-claims-quitting-twitter-elon-musk-out

(Raise your hand if you threw up a little in your mouth after reading that...)



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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote MrTim Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 11 Nov 2022 at 7:11am
Did you hate brussels sprouts when you were a kid?  Scientists say they taste better now than they did 50 years ago

https://www.mentalfloss.com/posts/do-brussels-sprouts-taste-better-now-yes-here-s-why-01ghed9q8dr8

Quote I quite like Brussels sprouts, we have them about once a week with dinner. After I've cut the ends and discarded the loose leaves, I toss them in olive oil, season them with Tony Chachere's cajun seasoning and cook them in a 400 degree convection oven for 10-12 minutes. Delicious. What's your favorite way to prepare them?


My method is similar but I use the trash can first.



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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote MrTim Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 12 Nov 2022 at 7:44am
Vote counting in Arizona still going slooowly;  Arizona election officials blaming Florida's hurricane Nicole for the delay
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote MrTim Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 16 Nov 2022 at 6:45am
Trapped without food in the wilderness?  Need to order a quick snack while watching TV?  Just call for an edible drone!

https://www.cnet.com/science/edible-drone-flies-to-the-rescue-with-snackable-wings/?ftag=CAD-03-10abf2b
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote MrTim Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 20 Nov 2022 at 6:53am
Woman who eats diet of bugs, mealworms and ants insists crickets taste ‘just like fried chicken’;  Everybody else giving her questionable looks, replying "No thanks, we'll stick with Chik-fil-a"

https://metro.co.uk/2022/11/17/woman-who-eats-bugs-and-insects-says-crickets-taste-like-chicken-17775245/?ito=push-notification&ci=d4QG7DidUw&cri=31dz7FlR4J&si=32291327&xi=0b64ba8b-206b-407c-9945-c007b78d9477&ai=17775245
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote MrTim Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 22 Nov 2022 at 6:43am
Eurotrash kickball being played in Qatar;  Fans of losing teams can't even cry in their beer, because it's mostly banned in the country
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote MrTim Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 24 Nov 2022 at 6:34am
Weirdoes want you to feed bugs to your pets;  They also want you to eat bugs, even if the thought of flossing legs from between your teeth disturbs you (you'll get used to it)

https://www.lifesitenews.com/news/cnn-report-says-pets-add-to-climate-crisis-suggests-americans-feed-dogs-insect-based-food/
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote MrTim Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 30 Nov 2022 at 6:05am
Amazing scientific breakthrough announced:  Good news, men!  A splashback-free urinal has been invented;  No word on when a workable womens urinal will be developed

https://arstechnica.com/science/2022/11/the-angle-at-which-dogs-pee-inspired-optimal-design-for-splash-free-urinal/amp/
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote MrTim Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 08 Dec 2022 at 6:32am
You can now go topless on Nantucket beaches;  Though you may still want to cover those puppies up when the weather gets really, really cold, say locals

https://www.boston.com/news/local-news/2022/12/06/nantucket-topless-beaches-bylaw-approved-attorney-general-maura-healey/?utm_source=fark&utm_medium=website&utm_content=link&ICID=ref_fark
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote MrTim Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 09 Dec 2022 at 6:41am
Survey finds that Americans are nicer than Canadians on airplane flights;  Canadians not being able to handle low-alcoholic beverages might be a factor

https://nypost.com/2019/06/13/americans-are-nicer-than-canadians-airplane-etiquette-survey-reports/
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote MrTim Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 18 Dec 2022 at 6:13am
Pole dancer demonstrates 'painful' reason why she can't perform fully clothed; Performer fell off a pole while trying to pose in jogging pants, says she "won't try to do that again!"

https://www.dailystar.co.uk/real-life/pole-dancer-demonstrates-painful-reason-28724615#source=push
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote MrTim Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 19 Dec 2022 at 6:38am
Grocery stores in Australia recalling hallucinogenic spinach, warning not to smoke or eat it;  Source is apparently Jimson weed contamination, which can cause hallucinations, also convulsions, and death

https://futurism.com/neoscope/grocery-stores-recall-hallucinogenic-spinach


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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote MrTim Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 21 Dec 2022 at 5:37am
This warning may or may not be directed at people who post on TikTok:

https://nypost.com/2022/12/20/dont-masturbate-with-christmas-ornaments-doctor-warns/?utm_source=fark&utm_medium=website&utm_content=link&ICID=ref_fark

(Go on, you know you want to read it...  )
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote MrTim Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 23 Dec 2022 at 6:13am
All over America this Christmas season, parents are HOPING their kids are on the naughty list;  They need the coal to heat the house
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote MrTim Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 25 Dec 2022 at 5:36am
Breaking
NY Gov. Kathy Hochul on widespread blizzard: "It's very clear to me that the effects of climate change are wreaking havoc everywhere.";  Mocking third-graders tell her "It's called 'winter', b*tch."

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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote MrTim Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 26 Dec 2022 at 6:02am
The post-Christmas Report:  Santa didn't eat all of the cookies that kids left for him;  He did, however, finish off all of the booze parents put out
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote MrTim Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 29 Dec 2022 at 6:07am
From the "Things we don't want to know about but can't resist looking at" file:

https://12ft.io/proxy?q=https%3A%2F%2Fdefector.com%2Fwhat-did-we-get-stuck-in-our-rectums-last-year-3%2F%3Futm_source%3Dfark%26utm_medium%3Dwebsite%26utm_content%3Dlink%26ICID%3Dref_fark

(No, sorry, no mention of a bowling ball...  )
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote MrTim Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 02 Jan 2023 at 6:24am
Optimism returning to the nation;  It's eleven months until Christmas, and people already have their decorations up
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote radioandnascarfan Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 05 Jan 2023 at 6:49pm
A couple I know waits until MLK day to take their's down.
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote MrTim Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 06 Jan 2023 at 6:09am
Unlike the Babylon Bee, we bring you the real news:

https://www.heraldsun.com.au/technology/science/new-years-eve-fireworks-cancelled-because-of-masturbating-walrus/news-story/bc08e936c536e5c78a6af6cdc2b5a2e7


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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote MrTim Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 07 Jan 2023 at 6:39am
Survey finds that most people feel safe from UFO abductions by day;  After dark, however, there was definitely an elevated risk level
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote MrTim Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 11 Jan 2023 at 5:52am
Gov't warns not to eat your Christmas tree;  (If you have to be told not to eat your tree, you probably should do everybody a favor and just eat your tree)

https://sylg1.wordpress.com/2023/01/10/do-not-eat-your-christmas-tree/
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