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MrTim
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Posted: 01 May 2010 at 5:31am |
Extra! Extra! Add your headlines here! (Try to keep it humorous! )
George Hamilton asks Charlie Crist to return his tan; Sales of sunscreen go up.
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PaWolf
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"What we do for ourselves dies with us, What we do for others is and remains immortal." - Albert Pike |
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Tiz
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Molsons Ice Pulls Out Of New York. Man on bicycle mounts a protest.
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Moochamoocha
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Naked Woman With Axe Runs Amok Down Times Square. "Tired of stupid ads!" she screams.
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MrTim
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^^^
Barney the Purple Dinosaur joins cast of Twilight; IQ of Twilight fans increases as a result
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PaWolf
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X <sig.nature>
"What we do for ourselves dies with us, What we do for others is and remains immortal." - Albert Pike |
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MrTim
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Howard Stern nearly strangled by hair during nap; Beats offending wig to death with toilet brush
In other news:
The Onion crying "CIH headlines are better than ours!"
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MrTim
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Anorexic convention cancels $100-a-plate fundraiser dinner; Organizers mystified by low turnout |
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musicman
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Parent says no to child; Arrested for bruising child's precious ego
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Hootman
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Woman's Headless, Armless Body Found in River...Foul Play is Suspected
(Actual headline I read in Cleveland, TN 20 years ago.) |
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MrTim
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Charmin Bears switch to Peter Cottontail brand toilet paper; Claim it is softer and more natural
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Tiz
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Former TV Infomercial guru Billy Mays' grave site was partially vandalized: broken Awesome Auger found nearby. Officials say culprit was caught on the site's video and ListenUp devices. An arrest is pending.
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Hootman
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Ron Popeil Caught Doing "Showtime" in Central Park
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Tiz
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http://www.google.com/hostednews/ap/article/ALeqM5jVrDHOrfzGqN_4oIMd0AoK02ruWAD9FCSHV01
Deputy Fife's girlfriend, Thelma Lou, was robbed at gunpoint today. After an APB, the alert employees Goober and Gomer, at Wally's filling station, nabbed the robber by locking him in the mens room.
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MrTim
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Study: Blondes remember better with repetition; Study: Blondes remember better with repetition
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MrTim
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The Pinball vs. Harpsichord Feud: A meeting of the minds at last?
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PaWolf
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X <sig.nature>
"What we do for ourselves dies with us, What we do for others is and remains immortal." - Albert Pike |
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PaWolf
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A Connecticut official has won the right to run for state attorney general after she had to sue herself to prove her qualifications.
(look it up - it's real - and it's funny, in a sad sort-of-way)
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X <sig.nature>
"What we do for ourselves dies with us, What we do for others is and remains immortal." - Albert Pike |
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MrTim
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Buffet raided by bulemic flash mob; Horrified eyewitness recounts "It was like a feeding frenzy of puking piranha!"
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Tiz
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TLC announces new reality show; Deadliest Takeout Joints.
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MrTim
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Hormel files suit against porn star Dinky Moore over title of his upcoming movie, "Beefcake Stew"; Moore threatens early release
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Jimbo
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Gulf Coast Residents Now Able To Get Blackened Fish BEFORE It's Cooked.
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...the ads take aim and lay their claim to the heart and the soul of the spender
Jackson Browne - The Pretender C'mon, man! Joe Biden - 46th President of the United States |
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Moochamoocha
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Times Square Would-be Bomber Caught! Area now safe for muggers and pickpockets.
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Tiz
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Hall of Fame quarterback sacker Lawrence Taylor was charged with sacking a 16 year old girl. LT's defence team is currently in huddle.
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PaWolf
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Benjamin Franklin targetted as a Terrorist!: Poisons U.S. population with his very desireable Lead-Filled 'Armonica' musical intrument!
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X <sig.nature>
"What we do for ourselves dies with us, What we do for others is and remains immortal." - Albert Pike |
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