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Wild Starchild View Drop Down
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    Posted: 31 Aug 2008 at 11:07pm
 
Alrighty boys and girls, it is time once again for the next installment of, What the Hell did we do before this product came along???
 
I search hard to find products that exude mediocracy in such a manner that they defy description, yet are made to appear as if life without said products was a mere hope that providence would one day smile upon us in pity. Now that redeeming glory from on high has shone upon the meager populous, the lives of human beings have been so joyously lubricated by hope, tasks can be completed without incident. You shall never again find only one sock of the pair. If you drop your toast, the jelly side will always land right side up!! So now, sit back and enjoy this ringing endorsement of the newest and truest gleaming object of my search and never again be bothered by lack, inefficiency, or suffer from mild discomfort.
 
The latest marvel of technology to enter the fray is the Slim Clip!! According to the TV commercial, regular wallets are bulky and a real pain in the BLEEP! (the ad actually bleeps) Ladies, no more STRUGGLING to find your cards, IDs and cash lost inside a deep purse. If you SUFFER from these horrendous ailments, then you need the SLIM CLIP. The amazing new wallet that holds EVERYTHING you need in less that a 1/2 inch!  (much like the announcer's underwear) The SECRET is the PATENTED "double sided clip!" Unlike leather wallets that stretch out and EVERYTHING falls out, the SLIM CLIP is ENGINEERED so that NO MATTER HOW MUCH YOU SHAKE IT, NOTHING EVER FALLS OUT!!!!!
 You can put it in a blender! Run over it with a car! Use it on your next suicide bombing mission because it's virtually INDESTRUCTIBLE!!!!
 Happy customers rave, "it's small, compact, and fits in my pocket so I can take it everywhere I go!!"  While another proud owner is excited because it doesn't hurt like his regular wallet which is such LITTERALY pain in the butt!!
Are you tired of the pain from regular OVERSTUFFED, BULKY wallets? Are you FED UP with having to actually search for EVERYTHING you need? If so, you need to order the SLIM CLIP!!
BUT WAIT, as a token of our appreciation, well send you this handy SUPER BRIGHT key chain light, so light keyholes in the dark, read menus, and blind would be assailants!!!
 
HOLD ON A SECOND THERE SPEED DIALER, we STILL aren't through!!! ACT NOW and we'll double your offer!! That's right happy campers, you'll get two SLIM CLIPS and two SUPER BRIGHT KEY CHAIN LIGHTS for only $10.00!! JUST pay a separate processing and handling fee!! ORDER NOW!!!!!!
 
Ok, if you know me, you know the drill! This is the part of the program where I punch holes all in their claims. Not that I need to, but it's just too damned entertaining to make fun of these stupid products and commercials, not to!
 
This stupid assed ad make it seem as though using a standard wallet ranks right up there with gonorrhea and syphilis. You know, I can't count the times my wallet has attacked me and strewn about all my stuff like a Vegas Blackjack dealer! I mean HELL, for all you terrorists out there, forget bombs, just send everyone a regular wallet and they are sure to kill everyone on your list when they ATTACK!!! Why do these ads continually use words like, STRUGGLE, and SUCH A HASSLE over the most meanial of tasks?? It makes no sence to me at all. Are folks really that stupid to FIRST make ads like that, but then for foks to actually not mind that they are being talked to like a first grade class at show and tell time??? GIMMIE a friggin break!!! I didn't think any ad could make me think it was dumber than the spaghetti draining pot, BUT little did I know or forsee the SLIM CLIP's emergence on the scene!!!
  
The SECRET is the PATENTED "double sided clip!"
UH, it's a money clip!! NO secret James Bond devices here, just a fricken over-glorified money clip. I hope it's patented cause, you would really be a dumb f**k to manufacture and market an item that wasn't patented!!
 
NO MATTER HOW MUCH YOU SHAKE IT, NOTHING EVER FALLS OUT!!!!!
LOL Sound like someone need Viagra, or they have prostate problems!!! Hurry%20Up
 
The add said you can put it in a blender! Run over it with a car! It's virtually INDESTRUCTIBLE!!!!
I wonder just how MANY wallets have been destroyied by falling into blenders, or have been ran over with a car??? I understand the point here. They want to show that it's tough, but it's stupid to show something as ordinary as a wallet being tossed about in a f**king blender or being squashed by a car tire!!
 
Happy customers rave, "it's small, compact, and fits in my pocket so I can take it everywhere I go!!"
Isn't small and compact the same thing?? Don't all pocket-sized wallets fit in your pocket?? Has ANY wallet since the dawning of time EVER refused to go with you in your pocket?? ASININE AND RIDICULOUS!!!
 
While another proud owner is excited because it doesn't hurt like his regular wallet which is such LITTERALY pain in the butt!!
This one really made me laugh at it's audacity of DOPE-iness. This guy tries to sit down, and this wallet is only in his back pocket about an inch, and man this thing is stuffed to the max!!! I bet he has the Ken Starr Clinton/Lewinsky sex scandle report in that damned thing. I swear if you need to buy a new wallet to solve that problem, you're stupidity knows no bounds!! Come closer, let me tell you how to fix that. UNLOAD SOME OF THE sh*t OUT OF IT, YOU DUMB f**kING ASS!!!!! YOU DON'T NEED THAT MUCH sh*t WITH YOU AT ALL TIMES f**kWAD!!!!!
 
The little key ring light, I have to say is a great little light. My wife has one that she bought  at Autozone for a buck as we were buying a part. So if you want one of those, get in the ZONE!!! ROFLMAO!!!
 
ACT NOW and we'll double your offer!! That's right happy campers, you'll get two SLIM CLIPS and two SUPER BRIGHT KEY CHAIN LIGHTS for only $10.00!! JUST pay a separate processing and handling fee!! ORDER NOW!!!!!!
Yeah, for all of you who STILL haven't learned your lesson, this is code for, "This sh*t is soo f**king cheap we could have sold it to you for $5.00 but the shipping would cost more than the item!! And why, if I order this god-damned POS item do I have to pay an additional fee for processing, and handling?? Let's see,..... I call ONE time, to order. That's ONE PROCESSS!!!........HMMMM...Nope don't understand why I should have to pay for that TWO times!!! Someone please explain. Obviously, I am a bit slow!!  OK, an extra handling fee?? Are ya gonna ship it in the same f**king box??? You want me to pay for each number of times you stick your hand over a table and grab one of these gadgets?? Am I paying for extra bubble wrap or packing peanuts?? Now, be sure you package it to the extent that I have to use a blowtorch to open the f**king box. GOD forbid it got damaged in transit  from your facilities to my doorstep. I mean the mail folks might drop it into a HUGE FRIGGIN BLENDER or RUN IT OVER WITH THEIR TRUCK!!! But wait.......I thought you said it would withstand that kind of abuse???..............HMMMM WHY THE EXTRA COSTS DICKHEADS????
 
AW DAMN!!!! Wild Shot the friggin TV again!!!
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CatWoman View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote CatWoman Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 31 Aug 2008 at 11:20pm
LOL

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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote B.the1st Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 01 Sep 2008 at 1:15am
Originally posted by MrsHill MrsHill wrote:

LOL
 
I second that!  LOLLOL
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Hootman Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 01 Sep 2008 at 1:19am
Wild, I don't know what you do to make money, but you have a future in satire.  Do bloggers (Brita?) make good money"
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Thor Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 01 Sep 2008 at 1:21am
OK.  I am a bit tempted by that battery-powered electric razor that's smaller than a deck of cards.  But then I think "When have I ever needed such a thing?"  If I can remember to bring that thing along on trips, I can remember to bring along a regular razor (which works just fine with plain water).
 
 
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https://www.slimclip.com/ver1/index.asp?did=&refcode=1002
 
Isn't this just a money clip? Something thats been around for ages?
"Hey dude, look at that guy with all those bills in his Slim Clip, let's roll him when he leaves the store."LOL
Thanks, but I don't want everyone seeing my cash out in the open. What do they weigh, maybe an ounce. Why pay extra shipping & processing for a second one?Confused
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Yes, it appears to be nothing more than your standard money clip!  It doesn't even protect the contents from the elements.
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote JimAyzing Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 01 Sep 2008 at 5:08am
I will have to say no thanks to that offer.  If I want to use a money clip, then I will buy a money clip.  But even then, I just have my bank card on hand.  so I do not even need an actual walletLOL
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Wild Starchild Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 01 Sep 2008 at 7:39pm
I'd love to see what one of these ad agencies could do with a dog turd!!

New SUPER sh*t!!! You can sculpt flower pots, vases and bowls, you can fix holes in the driveway with it. You can use it for slingshot ammo. Use it to decorate walls, and when someone says,  "Hey that paint job looks like sh*t!" you can tell them, "It is sh*t!!" You can even serve it for appetizers when the in laws visit!! However you plan to use it, you won't believe this CRAP!!!
AW DAMN!!!! Wild Shot the friggin TV again!!!
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote erod550 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 23 Oct 2008 at 10:53am
I just saw this commercial and couldn't believe it.  The guy grabbing his back when he sat on his overstuffed wallet was just too much.  I don't carry a lot of extra crap in my wallet in the first place, and in the second place I carry it in a front pocket.  I don't care how thin it is, I don't want to sit on it all day, not even this Slim Clip.
 
Also, I have never ever in my life tried to open my wallet and had everything fall out of it while I tried to pull out one bill.  Who comes up with this crap?
I was watching TV with a friend when this commercial came on and he said it always reminds him of this:
 
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But did they try flushing a Slim Clip down one of those air pressure-assisted toilets?
I bet that it would become broken after that...or at the very least, the money would be all soggy. LOL
 
Yes, my "ordinary" wallet is always falling in the shiitbowl and always, always, ALWAYS becomes damaged to the point of requiring replacement. WinkWinkWink

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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote PaWolf Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 23 Oct 2008 at 3:00pm
Originally posted by Wild Starchild Wild Starchild wrote:

I'd love to see what one of these ad agencies could do with a dog turd!!
LOL "SLIMSH*T"?
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Thor Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 23 Oct 2008 at 3:13pm
Funny post, WS!
 
This Slim Clip is about as gimmicky and useless as those trick wallets that people were buying many years ago.  I wish I could describe it.  You open the wallet one way, and you see the money; open it the other way, and it's somehow locked in.  I recall they had cross-straps or something, trapping the wallet contents inside somehow.  Anyone remember these?
 
 
 
 
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Yep.  
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote PaWolf Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 23 Oct 2008 at 3:41pm
Originally posted by Thor Thor wrote:

Funny post, WS!
 
This Slim Clip is about as gimmicky and useless as those trick wallets that people were buying many years ago.  I wish I could describe it.  You open the wallet one way, and you see the money; open it the other way, and it's somehow locked in.  I recall they had cross-straps or something, trapping the wallet contents inside somehow.  Anyone remember these?
  
 
Yup. I remember those well - my Father had one, for a SHORT amount of time; seem to remember him getting pretty frustrated with it, even though it wasn't too hard to deal with.
 
The 'Slim Clip' seems to be nothing more than a stinkin' 2-sided paper money clip. I'd be darned if I'd slap bank cards in it!
 
 
 
 
 
 
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Thor Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 23 Oct 2008 at 4:30pm
I'm quite happy with my regular wallet.  I keep everything in certain spots, and I know the feel of it in my back pocket.  I'd fear that, with this Slim Clip, I'd be in constant panic mode, always checking to make sure it's still there.  I don't know what advantage its "slimness" actually has.
 
 
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Thor Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 23 Oct 2008 at 4:35pm
My father used to be a little paranoid about pickpockets (and his wallet simply falling out) whenever he went to the casinos in Atlantic City.  So, he used to simply wrap a rubber band around his wallet.  Supposedly, this makes it more difficult for your wallet to "leave" your pocket. 
 
 
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote PaWolf Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 23 Oct 2008 at 7:04pm

I've SEEN others do that, Thor - but never understood, nor asked why...but, in the same light, MissyD, being the 'protectionist' she is, always made her father, my father, me, my brother, her brother...or even her collegues (when she was playing 'clean-up') always make all the boys put their wallets in the front pants pocket, if going into a questionable area...the elders were always to do it when they walked out the front door.

I know that worked.

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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote JimAyzing Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 23 Oct 2008 at 7:19pm
Originally posted by Thor Thor wrote:

Funny post, WS!
 
This Slim Clip is about as gimmicky and useless as those trick wallets that people were buying many years ago.  I wish I could describe it.  You open the wallet one way, and you see the money; open it the other way, and it's somehow locked in.  I recall they had cross-straps or something, trapping the wallet contents inside somehow.  Anyone remember these?
 


Yes I do remember them.  Actually, I think I have been seeing them lately

Originally posted by Thor Thor wrote:

My father used to be a little paranoid about pickpockets (and his wallet simply falling out) whenever he went to the casinos in Atlantic City.  So, he used to simply wrap a rubber band around his wallet.  Supposedly, this makes it more difficult for your wallet to "leave" your pocket.


I have done that once, and I realized how stupid it was looking.



QUOTE=PaWolf]

I've SEEN others do that, Thor - but never understood, nor asked why...but, in the same light, MissyD, being the 'protectionist' she is, always made her father, my father, me, my brother, her brother...or even her collegues (when she was playing 'clean-up') always make all the boys put their wallets in the front pants pocket, if going into a questionable area...the elders were always to do it when they walked out the front door.

I know that worked.
[/QUOTE]

I put my wallet in my front pocket. 
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"The potato goes in the front!" 
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Tiz Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 24 Oct 2008 at 12:24am
I might see this clip handy for someone on vacation, camping, hiking, etc. But for everyday use, I need my wallet.  Photos, phone ##'s, condoms , assorted liscences, business cards, etc.Embarrassed
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I no longer need to keep condoms in my wallet.  I need the room for Preparation H Wipes.  Wink

It's hell getting old.
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You know, these are the type of products you end up seeing in those discount-crap catalogues, like "Harriet Carter."  I admit I've ordered from those and I don't think there was ever one item I got (except for maybe my tea press tongs) that was anothering other than cheap worthless junk.
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Thor Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 24 Oct 2008 at 3:31pm
Originally posted by B.the1st B.the1st wrote:

You know, these are the type of products you end up seeing in those discount-crap catalogues, like "Harriet Carter."  I admit I've ordered from those and I don't think there was ever one item I got (except for maybe my tea press tongs) that was anothering other than cheap worthless junk.
 
They had one item that enabled you to practice your "putt"---golf putt, that is---while sitting on the toilet.  To depict the product, they actually had a drawing of a guy using the product while taking a dump.
 
 
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Originally posted by Thor Thor wrote:

Originally posted by B.the1st B.the1st wrote:

You know, these are the type of products you end up seeing in those discount-crap catalogues, like "Harriet Carter."  I admit I've ordered from those and I don't think there was ever one item I got (except for maybe my tea press tongs) that was anothering other than cheap worthless junk.
 
They had one item that enabled you to practice your "putt"---golf putt, that is---while sitting on the toilet.  To depict the product, they actually had a drawing of a guy using the product while taking a dump.
 
 
 
OMG how did I miss THAT one!!! Shocked
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