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Reality Shows: The Ingredients

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PitLoad413 View Drop Down
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    Posted: 13 Aug 2011 at 7:29pm
  • A dumb-ass family from Middle America preferably an obese one.
  • One sharp-dressing yuppie white male douchebag with attitude problem hosting said show.
  • Have the family doing something wrong that isn't up to Capt. Douchebag's standards (like sleeping, having an opinion, eating normal food, or not being a pretty white person. etc.)
  • Have said family perform re-goddamn-diculous tricks like a dolphin at Sea World.
  • Have family live in a boot-camp environment with even more verbal abuse than the first 35 minutes of Kubrick's "Full Metal Jacket". 
  • The Host who claims he's famous and relevant to society(even though no one's ever heard of him/her until this bullsh*t excuse for a TV Show)
  • Gather up a motley crew of dimwitted, despicable and socially mutated, freaks of nature(if its a game/dating show)
  • Host and his crew invade one's home throw out the furniture, clothing, etc, and replace it with very expensive crap.
  • Then insult the contestant for having an ugly wardrobe, house, car, etc.
  • The promo must include the host standing in an authoritative position with arms folded as if this asshole is a drill instructor. 
  • Eliminate any morality, compassion, respect, and privacy/
"Look, if you must be a complete idiot, if you want to make a spectacle of yourself in front of depraved assholes for 60 minutes....GO AHEAD!!!! I hope you like therapy sessions and suicidal thoughts at 4am. Help and assistance with your life isn't a televised event. Help isn't an evil-ass douchebag barking orders and humiliating you in the process....that's domination and control.
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote 70s80s Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 14 Aug 2011 at 3:46pm
Great list!  Seems about 90% of the stuff on TV AND cable follows this formula these days. Unhappy
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote EMCEE Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 15 Aug 2011 at 1:24am
Originally posted by PitLoad413 PitLoad413 wrote:

  • A dumb-ass family from Middle America preferably an obese one.
  • One sharp-dressing yuppie white male douchebag with attitude problem hosting said show.
  • Have the family doing something wrong that isn't up to Capt. Douchebag's standards (like sleeping, having an opinion, not being a pretty white person. etc.)
  • Have said family perform re-goddamn-diculous tricks like a dolphin at Sea World.
  • Have family live in a boot-camp environment with even more verbal abuse. 
  • The Host who claims he's famous and relevant to society(even though no one's ever heard of him/her until this bullsh*t excuse for a TV Show)
  • Gather up a motley crew of dimwitted social freaks of nature(if its a game/dating show)
  • Host and his crew invade one's home throw out the furniture, clothing, etc, and replace it with very expensive crap.
  • Then insult the contestant for having an ugly wardrobe, house, car, etc.
  • The promo must include the host standing in an authoritative position with arms folded as if this asshole is a drill instructor. 
  • Eliminate any morality, compassion, respect, and privacy/
"Look, if you must be a complete idiot if you want to make a spectacle of yourself in front of depraved assholes for 60 minutes. Help and assistance with your life isn't a televised event while some asshole commands you around!" 


I needed to see this.  I just got done ranting on my girlfriend for watching dumbf*ck mindless "Real Housewives of New Jersey."  How anyone can watch sh*t like that is beyond me.  Reality TV has ruined television for people with brains.
Reader, suppose you were an idiot. And suppose you were a member of Congress. But I repeat myself.

- Mark Twain

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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote regulus Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 15 Aug 2011 at 1:59am
Originally posted by EMCEE EMCEE wrote:

 Reality TV has ruined television for people with brains.
SECONDED!
(This is why I no longer watch ANY TV Programming!)Dead
Poiuyt Power!!!
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Thor Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 15 Aug 2011 at 4:49am
There seems to be a wealth of shows involving tow trucks these days.
 
South Beach Tow
Operation Repo
Lizard Lick Towing
Parking Wars
and some new one called Bear Park Tow (I think)
 
Is there really that much demand for this sort of thing?
 
 
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote PaWolf Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 15 Aug 2011 at 5:04am
Originally posted by Thor Thor wrote:

There seems to be a wealth of shows involving tow trucks these days.
 
South Beach Tow
Operation Repo
Lizard Lick Towing
Parking Wars
and some new one called Bear Park Tow (I think)
 
Is there really that much demand for this sort of thing?
 
 
ConfusedProbably by the off-duty tow truck drivers and repo critters, along with unemployed peeps what have car payments they can't make. Some people like to watch what they do; others need to see what they can come up with for new ways to hide cars on the repo tow list.
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Thor Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 15 Aug 2011 at 9:40pm
Originally posted by Thor Thor wrote:

and some new one called Bear Park Tow (I think)
 
 
 
Correction:
 
It's called Bear Swamp Recovery.
 
But who gives a damn, anyway?  Probably stars at least one huge fat person, a la Lizard Lick and Operation Repo.  Same old, same old.
 
 
 
 
 
 
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote PaWolf Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 15 Aug 2011 at 11:06pm
ConfusedBelieve it or not, I saw an ad for a wrecker/repo show where if the repo victim can answer a quizz question, the repo guys will let the people keep their cars and leave - now THAT was actually funny - and really strange. I'm still trying to figure what network I saw that on...not sure it is out, yet.
The ad had a 'lucky winner' (a lady as big as the repo boys) - and when she 'won', everybody started jumping up and down and hugging... 
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Tiz Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 15 Aug 2011 at 11:57pm
There seems to be a wealth of shows involving fishing and logging these days.
Hillbilly Handfishin'
Deadliest Catch
River Monsters
Swamp People

Extreme Logging
Swamp Logging 
Ice Logging

 
Is there really that much demand for this sort of thing?
 

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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Christine Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 16 Aug 2011 at 2:45am

Guess that the hillbilly/blue-collar-job shows just give people the vicarious adventures w/o needing any physical stamina or courage. Which is kinda what TV is all about.

But the glut of reality shows probably has to do with the cheapness of making them. And what boy/man doesn't enjoy watching trucks and big machines??
 
Don't understand the appeal of the "housewives" shows at all. Superficially glamarous people bickering constantly. Guess it makes the non-idle-rich among us GLAD we're not among the idle rich?? I dunno.
 
You forgot to mention Ice Road Truckers among the truck shows. Geek
 
I do like American Pickers (NOT the new one with the women), Pawn Stars (NOT Hardcore Pawn), and recently, Celebrity Ghost Stories (actually really interesting!! I don't think they're making the stories up.) USED to like A Haunting but now it's The Haunted, which is lousy. Ermm
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Thor Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 16 Aug 2011 at 4:51am
Originally posted by PaWolf PaWolf wrote:

ConfusedBelieve it or not, I saw an ad for a wrecker/repo show where if the repo victim can answer a quizz question, the repo guys will let the people keep their cars and leave - now THAT was actually funny - and really strange. I'm still trying to figure what network I saw that on...not sure it is out, yet.
The ad had a 'lucky winner' (a lady as big as the repo boys) - and when she 'won', everybody started jumping up and down and hugging... 
 
Yeah, I saw something about that show when I was researching the name of Bear Swamp Recovery.  I forget what it was called.
 
 
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Thor Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 16 Aug 2011 at 4:54am
Originally posted by Christine Christine wrote:

Guess that the hillbilly/blue-collar-job shows just give people the vicarious adventures w/o needing any physical stamina or courage. Which is kinda what TV is all about.

...
 
Don't understand the appeal of the "housewives" shows at all. Superficially glamarous people bickering constantly. Guess it makes the non-idle-rich among us GLAD we're not among the idle rich?? I dunno.
 
 
 
I think it's the same thing in a way.  It's just that, in the Housewives/Kardashians/Models type reality shows, it's the female viewers who get those vicarious adventures.
 
I watch Jerseylicious sometimes.  I don't know what kind of vicarious adventure I'm getting outta that.  Might have something to do with OliHeartia.
 
 
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote insanity213 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 16 Aug 2011 at 3:48pm
There's some show called "Hogs Gone Wild" .. at first I figured it was another reality show starring the Kardashians.
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Moochamoocha Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 16 Aug 2011 at 5:52pm
Originally posted by insanity213 insanity213 wrote:

There's some show called "Hogs Gone Wild" .. at first I figured it was another reality show starring the Kardashians.


ROTFLMFAO!!!! You nearly made me choke on my Doritos!
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Thor Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 16 Aug 2011 at 10:37pm
Just heard on the radio that one of the husbands of one of the "Real Wives" killed himself today.  Russell something-or-other, I think. 
 
This says something about reality shows, but I dunno what.  Seems there've been an inordinate number of reality show suicides.
 
 
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote PaWolf Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 17 Aug 2011 at 12:04am
Originally posted by Thor Thor wrote:

Just heard on the radio that one of the husbands of one of the "Real Wives" killed himself today.  Russell something-or-other, I think. 
 
This says something about reality shows, but I dunno what.  Seems there've been an inordinate number of reality show suicides.
 
 
Not sure what is says about reality shows other than to inform the fans that someone earned their 'Mud Monkey Merit Badge'...after reading your post, I decided to look into this piece of news...aaaand there it was - and everyone wants to say suicide (no note found) - but, in the 'Land of Fruits & Nuts', if ya need to drum up some attention, well, then that is one way to get it.
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Thor Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 17 Aug 2011 at 12:24am
Here's an article from 2009:
 
Reality Show Suicides:  11 Players Have Taken Their Own Lives In Wake of Appearances
 
 
 
 
Maybe it's a side effect of Botox.
 
 
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote PaWolf Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 17 Aug 2011 at 5:03am
Originally posted by Thor Thor wrote:

Originally posted by PaWolf PaWolf wrote:

ConfusedBelieve it or not, I saw an ad for a wrecker/repo show where if the repo victim can answer a quizz question, the repo guys will let the people keep their cars and leave - now THAT was actually funny - and really strange. I'm still trying to figure what network I saw that on...not sure it is out, yet.
The ad had a 'lucky winner' (a lady as big as the repo boys) - and when she 'won', everybody started jumping up and down and hugging... 
 
Yeah, I saw something about that show when I was researching the name of Bear Swamp Recovery.  I forget what it was called.
 
 
ConfusedI'm watching it now - "Repo Games", on SpikeTV. Get 3 out of 5 questions right, everything gets paid off and ya keep the car.
I just saw a guy get his Lexus paid off - he was so excited that he was getting ready to jump in the car and go find a hooker, when his wife came home. Everything went to hell when he tried to borrow $2 for gas, from her (which he didn't get).
The question remains: If he had to borrow $2 for gas, didn't he forget to borrow 'hooker bucks'?
 
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Christine Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 19 Aug 2011 at 4:35am
Watching Millionaire Matchmaker for the second time. It's not as bad as I thought it would be- not quite like Bachelor/ette.
 
What's cool is that the show's host (matchmaker) rips the arrogant a-hole millionaire d-bags a new one right off the bat at each meeting. It's like she's doing that segment of society an important service. Cool
 
That's the highlight of each show, though. The rest is just the shallow dating nonsense. Kinda interesting, but predictable. The host makes it worthwhile, though, seeing right through the guys' BS and doing her best to turn them into gentlemen for "her girls."
 
 And if they step out of line, she calls them back to the office and "fires" them, basically refusing to work for them ever again, and letting them know why, loudly. As a woman, it's refreshing to watch! Tongue
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Thor Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 23 Aug 2011 at 1:54pm
I see there's going to be a new reality show called "H8R", featuring hated celebrities and sports stars.  So, now, we can tune in specifically to see people we can't stand, such as Snooki, Kim Kardashian and Barry Bonds.
 
Seems a little masochistic to me that people would tune into a TV show to see people they dislike. 
 
Also seems odd that the featured celebrities would revel in their bad reps to the point of being on a show that targets them in this way.  Do these celebs actually need more money or attention?  I wonder if they'd appear on the show if it was called "Cretins" or "Dipsh*ts" or "Here's What's Wrong With TV".  Oh, they probably would.
 
 
 
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Dreamstalker Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 25 Aug 2011 at 6:38pm
We like Deadliest Catch, but that's the only reality show accepted in the household (I confess to watching Parking Wars, mainly to see the idiots trying to argue).
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Moochamoocha Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 25 Aug 2011 at 7:35pm
The show I'm in this summer makes fun of several reality shows. The audience really gets a kick out of the Jersey Shore parody.
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Grant Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 31 Aug 2011 at 10:31pm
Originally posted by Thor Thor wrote:

There seems to be a wealth of shows involving tow trucks these days.
 
South Beach Tow
Operation Repo
Lizard Lick Towing
Parking Wars
and some new one called Bear Park Tow (I think)
 
Is there really that much demand for this sort of thing?
 
 
 
I know I carry on about this, but that's all I need living in southern Texas - a whole wave of reality shows devoted to trucks (and cars). Car and truck mania is something I definitely don't see every ten minutes without seeing it on TV!
I just hope the next wave of reality shows will be about cell phones, and the mania over them. That's another part of day-to-day life I've been missing out on.
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Thor Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 31 Aug 2011 at 11:29pm
Coming soon...
 
Sex Change Hospital
 
 
 
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote bwestfall Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 01 Sep 2011 at 1:20am
I don't know if it would really be called a reality show, it's so good it seems like a documentary series to me, but I just started watching "Katie's Beautiful Friends," and it is so tragic and real that it makes "ordinary" reality shows look like the money-hungry, trashy, soul less, scripted sh*t they are.  Katie, who lives in London, had acid thrown in her face by a complete stranger and she now is terribly disfigured with all kinds of health problems and ongoing surgeries, but she has started an organization to help other people like her get along in the world, get a job, go to school, how to deal with assholes who stare and ask stupid questions.  Only problem is that I tear up/cry several times a show Cry
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