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Pop-Tarts are now sexual beings

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Topic: Pop-Tarts are now sexual beings
Posted By: Thor
Subject: Pop-Tarts are now sexual beings
Date Posted: 13 Apr 2012 at 5:27am
 
Maybe they should date Katy Perry.  She's also a pop tart, and, in fact, looks remarkably like them.
 
 
 



Replies:
Posted By: Jimbo
Date Posted: 13 Apr 2012 at 6:51am
"Pop-Tarts are now sexual beings"

 
So, next time someone says "I want a fucking Pop Tart", they'll open the box & actually find them in there fucking?????
 
They put all that cheap, crappy frosting on them nowadys is to obscure the fact that they hardly put any of the more expensive filling in them anymore.
 
They never had a lot to begin with, but when I was a kid, at least you could actually taste it, unlike nowadays.
 
Before too much longer they're going to apply the stuff with a fine-mist spray.
 
Or each individual Pop Tart will be about the size of a saltine cracker.
 
They'll still come in the same size box, though.
 


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Great news guys.... With the Air Hawk, flat balls are no longer a problem!!!


Posted By: trishanurse
Date Posted: 13 Apr 2012 at 7:42am
Wow...I have seen this ad for about 10 seconds and either got up and did something else or changed the channel.  Aren't Pop Tarts aimed to kids?  "I'm too sexy for my shirt"??  This is just wrong.  Pop Tarts are gross anyway.  The middle part is tasty I must admit (blueberry my favorite) but the outer crust sucks.  Toaster Strudel is way better.  There is an ad about the difference.  


Posted By: Jimbo
Date Posted: 13 Apr 2012 at 1:52pm
They were pretty good back in the 70's when I was a teenager, although you're right about the crust. It has always kinda sucked, but I think it was designed to be toasted. We never did that, though.
 
And back then they weren't frosted like today. It was just plain crust with filling inside.
 
One of my favorite after school (or after getting high) snacks was to put one on a plate & pile vanilla ice cream on top of it.
 
 
 
 


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Great news guys.... With the Air Hawk, flat balls are no longer a problem!!!


Posted By: Thor
Date Posted: 13 Apr 2012 at 2:02pm

I used to like the plain apple-filled ones.  Those don't even exist anymore.  Now, they have flavors described as such (from their website):

 
 
Wacky purple and green frosting and bright green sprinkles top a mega-yummy crust packed with grape-flavored filling. It's both mesmerizing and delicious. 
 
Vanilla ice cream-flavored filling surrounded by a waffle cone-flavored crust, topped with chocolatey icing and rainbow sprinkles. Freeze 'em and you'll be screamin' for more. "
 
 
 


Posted By: Hezadancer
Date Posted: 13 Apr 2012 at 2:20pm
I call for a worldwide ban on the Too Sexy song. It was outdated in 1991 when it came out. I remember being young and everyone singing it thinking they were somehow cool. It was overplayed then. It just goes to show how out of touch the people at the top of the ad chain are. My generation would not be using a freaking outdated joke song in their ads. But yet people like my mom in their 50s seem to think this song is still hilarious and relevant. Stop it. No one is too sexy for their shirt, put that sh*t back on and have some respect for yourself.

I hate the new Pop tarts "characters" or whatever they are. More like walking cum blobs with eyes on them. Yes, I went there, they suck. They're all like OMG new neon colored breakfast treats, eat them and be happy with the rest of your sh*tty day! I don't like how they decide to have a runway show because they change colors when they eat pop tarts. Too sexy? For their shirts you say? THEY AREN'T WEARING ANY. Now dry up and go away.


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It's ok, I'm in marketing!


Posted By: Jimbo
Date Posted: 13 Apr 2012 at 2:38pm
Originally posted by Thor Thor wrote:

Vanilla ice cream-flavored filling surrounded by a waffle cone-flavored crust, topped with chocolatey icing and rainbow sprinkles. Freeze 'em and you'll be screamin' for more."
 
GOT-DAMMIT!!!!! Angry Angry 
 
Now I'm gonna hafta try 'em!!!!
 
Call up the Pop Tarts people & get your commission because you just sold me a box.  Stern Smile
 
 
 
 


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Great news guys.... With the Air Hawk, flat balls are no longer a problem!!!


Posted By: Jimbo
Date Posted: 13 Apr 2012 at 2:43pm
Originally posted by Hezadancer Hezadancer wrote:

I call for a worldwide ban on the Too Sexy song. It was outdated in 1991 when it came out. I remember being young and everyone singing it thinking they were somehow cool. It was overplayed then. It just goes to show how out of touch the people at the top of the ad chain are. My generation would not be using a freaking outdated joke song in their ads. But yet people like my mom in their 50s seem to think this song is still hilarious and relevant. Stop it. No one is too sexy for their shirt, put that sh*t back on and have some respect for yourself.

I hate the new Pop tarts "characters" or whatever they are. More like walking cum blobs with eyes on them. Yes, I went there, they suck. They're all like OMG new neon colored breakfast treats, eat them and be happy with the rest of your sh*tty day! I don't like how they decide to have a runway show because they change colors when they eat pop tarts. Too sexy? For their shirts you say? THEY AREN'T WEARING ANY. Now dry up and go away.
 
Uh Heza, I think that song was meant to be taken "tongue in cheek".
 
IOW, it was a parody song that was meant to make fun of snooty Euro-fashion model types.
 
I still think it's funny.
 
Good satire never goes out of style.
 
 


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Great news guys.... With the Air Hawk, flat balls are no longer a problem!!!


Posted By: Thor
Date Posted: 13 Apr 2012 at 2:51pm
Originally posted by Jimbo Jimbo wrote:

Originally posted by Thor Thor wrote:

Vanilla ice cream-flavored filling surrounded by a waffle cone-flavored crust, topped with chocolatey icing and rainbow sprinkles. Freeze 'em and you'll be screamin' for more."
 
GOT-DAMMIT!!!!! Angry Angry 
 
Now I'm gonna hafta try 'em!!!!
 
Call up the Pop Tarts people & get your commission because you just sold me a box.  Stern Smile
 
 
 
 
 
Ick.  You can have 'em.  I never liked all that stuff combined into one product (never liked ice cream sundaes or banana splits, either).  I wonder why no caramel and marshmallows in that Pop-Tart?
 
 


Posted By: Grant
Date Posted: 13 Apr 2012 at 2:56pm
Originally posted by Hezadancer Hezadancer wrote:

I call for a worldwide ban on the Too Sexy song. It was outdated in 1991 when it came out. I remember being young and everyone singing it thinking they were somehow cool. It was overplayed then. It just goes to show how out of touch the people at the top of the ad chain are. My generation would not be using a freaking outdated joke song in their ads. But yet people like my mom in their 50s seem to think this song is still hilarious and relevant. Stop it. No one is too sexy for their shirt, put that sh*t back on and have some respect for yourself.

 
 
I hardly ever think anything gets outdated (even things I hate), but I think a million things get old with repetition, so I know what you mean. And pop culture takes one particular song and makes it THE "sexy" song for several years. A while back it was "Let's Get It On" by Marvin Gaye, and before that it was that "Oh, yeah" song with the deep throbbing sound. Titillating songs are like anything else, people seem to thing there's only room for one big one at a time. So I agree aboout the "I'm so sexy" one, but it wasn't the song I disliked, only hearing it get that treatment. And now I guess it's getting it again!


Posted By: Jimbo
Date Posted: 13 Apr 2012 at 3:01pm
Originally posted by Thor Thor wrote:

I wonder why no caramel and marshmallows in that Pop-Tart?
 
Well, because they have that stuff in a different Pop Tart.
 
That way, if you want that stuff too, you have to buy another box.
 
Why put every single ingredient into one Pop Tart?
 
All you'd have to do is buy one box.
 
 
 
 


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Great news guys.... With the Air Hawk, flat balls are no longer a problem!!!


Posted By: Thor
Date Posted: 13 Apr 2012 at 3:06pm
I think that next, they should use Cherry Pie for their cherry Pop-Tarts.
 
She's my cherry pie,
Cool drink of water, such a sweet surprise.
Tastes so good, make a grown man cry,
Sweet cherry pie, oh yeah
 
 


Posted By: Jimbo
Date Posted: 13 Apr 2012 at 3:13pm
Originally posted by Thor Thor wrote:

Ick.  You can have 'em.  I never liked all that stuff combined into one product (never liked ice cream sundaes or banana splits, either).
 
Sounds like you've got a touch of "Monk-ism". LOL
 
He can't stand to have different foods mixed together either.... LOL
 
 
Wacko Wink
 
 


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Great news guys.... With the Air Hawk, flat balls are no longer a problem!!!


Posted By: Thor
Date Posted: 13 Apr 2012 at 3:23pm
Never saw it, but I relate.
 
I've actually separated purple Fruit Loops from the rest, to see if I could taste the grape flavor in a whole bowl of purple ones.  FYI, I couldn't.
 
Granted, these were the cheap version of Fruit Loops (Fruit Rings) from the Dollar Tree.
 


Posted By: Jimbo
Date Posted: 13 Apr 2012 at 3:38pm
Monk has to have each item on a separate plate.
 
So they don't touch each other.
 
And each different color of candy (as per the pic) has to be in it's own bowl.
 
It will drive him over the edge if it isn't.
 
But hey..... enjoy that banana split!!!!! Tongue
 
 


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Great news guys.... With the Air Hawk, flat balls are no longer a problem!!!


Posted By: Thor
Date Posted: 13 Apr 2012 at 3:45pm
On the other hand, slop is my favorite food.  Lasagne, chili, jambalaya, burritos (slop wrapped in bread) etc.
 
 


Posted By: Jimbo
Date Posted: 13 Apr 2012 at 3:47pm
GOD, I'm hungry!!!!!
 
Might hit Taco Bell for lunch.
 
 


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Great news guys.... With the Air Hawk, flat balls are no longer a problem!!!


Posted By: Jimbo
Date Posted: 13 Apr 2012 at 3:56pm
Originally posted by Thor Thor wrote:

Never saw it, but I relate.
 
It's a pretty decent show.
 
The main character can be a bit too annoying & makes you curse at your TV & want to throw stuff at it.
 
And once or twice, it veered off into PC (women superior) land but overall it's a fun show to watch.
 
I only began watching it in reruns on a channel I get without cable. It originally ran on a cable (USA) network so I didn't get it then.
 
But you'd probably enjoy it.
 
It's set in S.F., so you'd probably recognize a lot of the background scenery although I think much of the actual shooting was done in Hollywood near the studios.
 
 


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Great news guys.... With the Air Hawk, flat balls are no longer a problem!!!


Posted By: Thor
Date Posted: 13 Apr 2012 at 4:14pm
I looked at a page of SF sites for the show.  Yep.  I know those places.
 
 


Posted By: EugenesAxe
Date Posted: 13 Apr 2012 at 7:49pm
Sexy, Poptarts, Kids, dunno what they are going for there

I always thought the outer crust was the best part. I would eat the border then the middle part last.

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Posted By: Hezadancer
Date Posted: 13 Apr 2012 at 8:19pm
Originally posted by Grant Grant wrote:

Originally posted by Hezadancer Hezadancer wrote:

I call for a worldwide ban on the Too Sexy song. It was outdated in 1991 when it came out. I remember being young and everyone singing it thinking they were somehow cool. It was overplayed then. It just goes to show how out of touch the people at the top of the ad chain are. My generation would not be using a freaking outdated joke song in their ads. But yet people like my mom in their 50s seem to think this song is still hilarious and relevant. Stop it. No one is too sexy for their shirt, put that sh*t back on and have some respect for yourself.

 
 
I hardly ever think anything gets outdated (even things I hate), but I think a million things get old with repetition, so I know what you mean. And pop culture takes one particular song and makes it THE "sexy" song for several years. A while back it was "Let's Get It On" by Marvin Gaye, and before that it was that "Oh, yeah" song with the deep throbbing sound. Titillating songs are like anything else, people seem to thing there's only room for one big one at a time. So I agree aboout the "I'm so sexy" one, but it wasn't the song I disliked, only hearing it get that treatment. And now I guess it's getting it again!

I think the worst offender is that song that goes "you're unbelievable......OHHH". It was like THE song of every late 90s early 2000 commercial.


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It's ok, I'm in marketing!


Posted By: Tiz
Date Posted: 13 Apr 2012 at 8:56pm
Originally posted by Thor Thor wrote:

Never saw it, but I relate.
 
I've actually separated purple Fruit Loops from the rest, to see if I could taste the grape flavor in a whole bowl of purple ones.  FYI, I couldn't.
 
Granted, these were the cheap version of Fruit Loops (Fruit Rings) from the Dollar Tree.
 
Was that spontaneous or were you just bored?Confused


Posted By: aka ron
Date Posted: 13 Apr 2012 at 9:38pm
Wow , you all kind of lost me there for a while but the poptart was a great after school snack in the late 60s.  Jimbo knows . My fav was brown sugar cinemon, FK SPELLING <I KNOW  When you toast them with a nice glass of cold milk they were even better.


Posted By: musicman
Date Posted: 13 Apr 2012 at 9:41pm
It should be no surprise.  After all.... they are Tarts.
 
 
 


Posted By: Velveeta
Date Posted: 13 Apr 2012 at 10:28pm
I LOVE pop-tarts.  As far as I'm concerned, they taste exactly the same as they did when I was a kid (I'm 51).  And that crust, toasted until it's slightly burned...awesome.

That being said, sexy Pop-Tarts makes me barf in my mouth a little..

And don't get me started on naked M&M's... 


Posted By: MrTim
Date Posted: 13 Apr 2012 at 11:59pm
"Cherry Poptart is a slutty party girl in a parody of Archie's Riverdale."
 
Yeah, I've got a couple of those early 80's porn comics around somewhere....  LOL
 
The recipe for making your own poptart dough, here: Wink
 
http://www.commercialsihate.com/kelloggs-poptarts-can-make-you-wanna-tap-dance_topic3927_post102510.html?KW=poptart#102510102510" rel="nofollow - http://www.commercialsihate.com/kelloggs-poptarts-can-make-you-wanna-tap-dance_topic3927_post102510.html?KW=poptart#102510102510


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http://mrtim1k.blogspot.com/ - WKRP closing theme lyrics HERE!


Posted By: Umbrella Girl
Date Posted: 14 Apr 2012 at 12:38am
Don't like frosting on Pop Tarts - it's just overkill.  Also, they must be toasted!

Maybe they tasted better when we were kids, because back then we just didn't know any better!

I could go for a toasted strawberry tart right now, though!


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When it rains, it pours.


Posted By: PaWolf
Date Posted: 14 Apr 2012 at 12:40am
I'm too sexy for Pop-Tarts.

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X               <sig.nature>
"What we do for ourselves dies with us, What we do for others is and remains immortal." - Albert Pike


Posted By: Velveeta
Date Posted: 14 Apr 2012 at 3:17pm
STRAWBERRY TOASTED!  and i thought i was the only one...  Ahhh...toasted just enough so that it doesn't fall apart as you try to get it out of the toaster.  

Frosting?  That's for amateurs!


Posted By: Jimbo
Date Posted: 14 Apr 2012 at 4:16pm
Originally posted by Velveeta Velveeta wrote:

Frosting?  That's for amateurs!
 
We "pros" know.... unfrosted ala mode is where it's at, baby!!!! Tongue
 
 


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Great news guys.... With the Air Hawk, flat balls are no longer a problem!!!


Posted By: Thor
Date Posted: 14 Apr 2012 at 4:36pm
Some flavors I'd like to see in Pop Tarts are apricot, pear, orange and lemon.
 


Posted By: Jimbo
Date Posted: 14 Apr 2012 at 5:24pm
LEMON!!!!!!!! TongueTongueTongueTongue
 
Let's start a petition drive NOW!!!!! Thumbs Up


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Great news guys.... With the Air Hawk, flat balls are no longer a problem!!!


Posted By: Jimbo
Date Posted: 14 Apr 2012 at 5:25pm
And CHEESECAKE!!!!!! TongueTongueTongueTongue


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Great news guys.... With the Air Hawk, flat balls are no longer a problem!!!


Posted By: Thor
Date Posted: 14 Apr 2012 at 5:47pm
Lemon cheesecake!
 
Instead of putting so much effort into decorative frosting for kiddies, they oughta come up with more flavors for their fillings.
 
 


Posted By: Papa Lazarou
Date Posted: 14 Apr 2012 at 6:01pm
So basically, y'all want pop tarts to be the pastry version of Jelly Bellies?
 
I like it :D
 
I haven't had a pop tart in ages. The last time was from a snack machine at a motel.


Posted By: Jimbo
Date Posted: 14 Apr 2012 at 6:21pm
DOUBLE-STUFF POP TARTS!!!!!
 
Lemon & pineapple cheesecake flavored!!!! TongueTongueTongue
 
 


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Great news guys.... With the Air Hawk, flat balls are no longer a problem!!!


Posted By: aka ron
Date Posted: 14 Apr 2012 at 8:19pm
alright, I say The POPTART ECLAIR.  custard filling with rich chocolate topping.


Posted By: Thor
Date Posted: 14 Apr 2012 at 8:41pm
Originally posted by Codtaro Codtaro wrote:

So basically, y'all want pop tarts to be the pastry version of Jelly Bellies?
 
I like it :D
 
 
 
...except maybe for those disgusting Jelly Bellies they came out with a few years ago---snot, dirt, vomit flavors, etc.
 
 


Posted By: Papa Lazarou
Date Posted: 14 Apr 2012 at 9:04pm
Oh, they'll release those. They'll just call them gluten free sugar free fat free :P


Posted By: Thor
Date Posted: 14 Apr 2012 at 9:22pm
Originally posted by Codtaro Codtaro wrote:

Oh, they'll release those. They'll just call them gluten free sugar free fat free :P
 
Well, maybe the dirt-flavored ones or the snot-flavored ones, but the vomit-flavored ones might very well contain fat and gluten and sugar.  Just depends what's in the vomit base they use.  Could be from a regurge'd McDonalds cheeseburger and chocolate shake.
 
 
 


Posted By: PaWolf
Date Posted: 15 Apr 2012 at 12:18am
Originally posted by Thor Thor wrote:

Originally posted by Codtaro Codtaro wrote:

Oh, they'll release those. They'll just call them gluten free sugar free fat free :P
 
Well, maybe the dirt-flavored ones or the snot-flavored ones, but the vomit-flavored ones might very well contain fat and gluten and sugar.  Just depends what's in the vomit base they use.  Could be from a regurge'd McDonalds cheeseburger and chocolate shake.
 
 
 
AngryNO CHOCO-CHEEBURGER VOMIT, dammit!
Just use some o'that 'Vanilla Rice Pudding Vomit', mentioned in another thread.
Rermember: think 'steamy, slimey, streamy'; it has to go down as easy as it is going to come right back up there, 'MamaBird'...
 


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X               <sig.nature>
"What we do for ourselves dies with us, What we do for others is and remains immortal." - Albert Pike


Posted By: Thor
Date Posted: 15 Apr 2012 at 2:16am
Vanilla rice pudding mixed with cream corn would provide the smell and texture of real vomit, Pa.


Posted By: Papa Lazarou
Date Posted: 15 Apr 2012 at 3:19am
>.> what would it say if I admitted I now have a craving for BOTH cream corn and rice pudding.
 
If I get my hands on 'em, thanks to you lot it'll be both satisfying and horrifying at the same time.


Posted By: Umbrella Girl
Date Posted: 15 Apr 2012 at 4:34pm
I would LOVE lemon Pop Tarts!  Pineapple, too!

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When it rains, it pours.


Posted By: Jimbo
Date Posted: 16 Apr 2012 at 4:05am
With vanilla ice cream on top!!!!
 
Let's start a petition drive!!!!
 
Flood the switchboard with calls!!!!
 
Kidnap the CEO & hold him till we get what we want..... LEMON & PINEAPPLE POP TARTS!!!! AngryAngryAngry
 
 
 


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Great news guys.... With the Air Hawk, flat balls are no longer a problem!!!


Posted By: zippyjet
Date Posted: 17 Apr 2012 at 10:46am
Originally posted by Thor Thor wrote:

 
Maybe they should date Katy Perry.  She's also a pop tart, and, in fact, looks remarkably like them.
 
 
 

 No picture of Katy Perry is complete unless you show her long toned gorgeous gams! This Pop Tart commercial is a step up from those awful animated ones that preceded this interesting one. Wow, now Right Said Fred and "I'm Too Sexy" may make a comeback. Go figure. The animated sucky commercials featured kids with big heads and stupid dancing where especially the fey looking boy jumps out of bed and blows past the bathroom (no teeth brushing or bathing) and slides down the rail for Pop Tarts. 
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-616ogTWIr4&feature=related" rel="nofollow - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-616ogTWIr4&feature=related


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I approve this message.


Posted By: Papa Lazarou
Date Posted: 19 Apr 2012 at 9:09pm
^One ugly talentless worthless never-should-have-been-born tart per topic, please.
 
Wink


Posted By: Jimbo
Date Posted: 19 Apr 2012 at 9:17pm
Fat legs.
 
Fat ass.
 
Fat head.
 
 


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Great news guys.... With the Air Hawk, flat balls are no longer a problem!!!


Posted By: Papa Lazarou
Date Posted: 19 Apr 2012 at 9:24pm

I thought it was the other [take my wonderful description from above and place it here] that had the penis.

 
Oh, you meant the OTHER kind of fat head...


Posted By: DirtyD79
Date Posted: 20 Apr 2012 at 12:54am
I refuse to have sex with pastry.

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Mind on My Money, Money on My Beer


Posted By: Papa Lazarou
Date Posted: 20 Apr 2012 at 3:48am
Originally posted by DirtyD79 DirtyD79 wrote:

I refuse to have sex with pastry.
 
It's no fun. Always flakes out midway through.


Posted By: Jimbo
Date Posted: 20 Apr 2012 at 4:32am
Originally posted by Codtaro Codtaro wrote:

Originally posted by DirtyD79 DirtyD79 wrote:

I refuse to have sex with pastry.
 
It's no fun. Always flakes out midway through.
 
And you sure as hell don't want to microwave it first!!!!! ShockedShockedShocked
 
Dead
 
 


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Great news guys.... With the Air Hawk, flat balls are no longer a problem!!!


Posted By: MrTim
Date Posted: 20 Apr 2012 at 4:37am
Originally posted by Jimbo Jimbo wrote:

Originally posted by Codtaro Codtaro wrote:

Originally posted by DirtyD79 DirtyD79 wrote:

I refuse to have sex with pastry.
 
It's no fun. Always flakes out midway through.
 
And you sure as hell don't want to microwave it first!!!!! ShockedShockedShocked
 
Dead
 
 
 
Paris Hilton thinks "That's Hot!"
 
LOL
 


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http://mrtim1k.blogspot.com/ - WKRP closing theme lyrics HERE!


Posted By: Jimbo
Date Posted: 20 Apr 2012 at 5:02am
Screamin HOT!!!!!!

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Great news guys.... With the Air Hawk, flat balls are no longer a problem!!!



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