If you were UberPresident/Ruler of the USA... |
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Skerlnik
Honor Roll Joined: 16 Apr 2008 Location: Tucson Status: Offline Points: 4045 |
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Posted: 07 May 2008 at 11:57pm |
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Let's pretend, through some cosmic alignment of Diebold vote machine foulups and a few million morons in Florida who get confused by a folded card, and after hanging everyone named Chad, that YOU suddenly are elected PRESIDENT of the U.S.A.
Let's say you have been handed a very compliant Congress, and at least six months or so of popular goodwill and ratings.....what you say, goes, basically....
What would YOUR agenda be? What would your priorities be? What's your platform? What needs to happen first?
Convince us, and you never know...
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"Oh, bother", said Pooh, as he chambered another round...
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Skerlnik
Honor Roll Joined: 16 Apr 2008 Location: Tucson Status: Offline Points: 4045 |
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1. Make an epic speech about changing America's foreign policy to one of noninterventionism. Begin pulling the troops out of Iraq, completed in one month, lock, stock and barrel. Open very serious, humble negotiations with OPEC, acknowledging the error of our belligerent ways, and get them to open the taps back up.
2. Propose new legislation imposing penalties on corporations who outsource, or hide their just tax responsibilities.
3. Universal health care. Get some very smart people to just bloody solve this thing, already.
4. New Orleans would get what we would have spent in one month on Iraq.
5. Teachers and public schools would get another monthly Iraq money chunk.
6. A five-year moratorium on all immigration, using that time to come up with something more intelligent for our border. Use the former Iraq-deployed troops to secure the south, and explain to Mexico that they will also be receiving a bill from the US for social/medical/welfare services rendered.
7. Social Security, Medicare and other guaranteed social promises the government made, get to swap budgets with the Pentagon for a few years. The military's just gonna have to make do with all the mothballed, bloated overstock they already have.
8. Put the Army to work on our infrastructure, in charge of prisoner work programs, to fix our infrastructure. Construction and matrials companies can help and donate in exchange for tax relief.
9. Balance the freakin' budget and get our house in order, ASAP. Cut the holy hell out of ALL pork I deem to be unnecessary, and get all levels of government on Zero Based Budgeting. Rescind the Bush tax cuts and freeze taxes where they are. Government can only have new, shiny toys when the country's in the black, and we firmly establish a payment plan to get out of debt. (That's what adults do, W.)
10. Figure out the second day's agenda....
(That oughtta stir y'all up....)
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"Oh, bother", said Pooh, as he chambered another round...
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Tiz
Revolutionary I donated! Joined: 15 Apr 2008 Location: Virginia Status: Offline Points: 15588 |
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Ban SUVs. Unless they only are available with 4 cylinder engines.
Tax people according to their vehicles gas mileage. Just like the power company, the more you use, the more you pay.
Mandatory sentences. No more "deals" for lighter sentences.
Thats enough for today.
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DirtyD79
Revolutionary Joined: 15 Apr 2008 Location: Pittsburgh,PA Status: Offline Points: 2005 |
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First ban SUVs and minivans, make more sports cars like Mustangs, Corvettes, and GTOs or at the very least stuff you don't feel like a total weiner driving.
Second legalize marijuana.
Third make it manadatory for McDonalds to sell beer.
Fourth put Playboy playmates on the money instead of all those dead old guys.
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Mind on My Money, Money on My Beer
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Skippy
Honor Roll Formerly Skibibbles Joined: 23 Apr 2008 Location: Smalltown in PA Status: Offline Points: 1453 |
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Give me a day to think about this one. This is just like asking what you would do if you won the lottery.
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Hootman
Revolutionary Joined: 15 Apr 2008 Location: Ohio Status: Offline Points: 8151 |
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Flat rate tax.
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Thor
Revolutionary Joined: 16 Apr 2008 Location: Rockaway, NJ Status: Offline Points: 63906 |
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Demand Mexico reimburse us (in oil) for letting their citizens stay here illegally. One barrel of oil per illegal. Or else, deport whoever we can (including anchor children), and seal the borders.
Nuke Iran at the first provocation.
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CatWoman
Revolutionary Joined: 15 Apr 2008 Location: SW MI Status: Offline Points: 11401 |
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Never thought I'd say this, but I'm voting for Skerlnik.....if I get to be director of Mental Health Programs in the administration....
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regulus
Junior Executive Joined: 17 Apr 2008 Location: Nova Catacumba Status: Offline Points: 4436 |
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I'd do something that might make some people Mad, but I think would solve some of our Crime and Terrorism Problems:
Develop a Pesticide that would, less that one year from being dispursed, Place The Indian Hemp Plant, The Opium Poppy and the Coca Plant ON THE ENDANGERED SPECIES LIST!
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Poiuyt Power!!!
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Ad nauseous
Revolutionary Joined: 15 Apr 2008 Location: Connecticut Status: Offline Points: 23601 |
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Ban and eradicate stupidity from the world it's BADLY needed.
Oh and puts some freaking limits on commercials. and start re-regulating stuff for once. that's a start. |
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One good thing about TV-you could always turn it off
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Big Momma
Honor Roll I donated. Joined: 17 Apr 2008 Location: New Hampshire Status: Offline Points: 4920 |
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Well, first, I would wear THIS dress when I make my inaugural speech!!
I would switch things around so that Nurses, teachers and other care givers got baseball player's salaries.
Every Saturday would be Godiva chocolate day [government funded]
Everyone would have health cover, plenty of food and, damn it, everyone who put in an honest day's work would be able to live comfortably on what they earn!
This IS fantasy, right??
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Jimbo
Honor Roll Joined: 19 Apr 2008 Location: Florida Status: Offline Points: 56960 |
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I'd fly around on Air Force One partying my ass off & getting more tail than Sinatra. Or Clinton, even.
All that other stuff would never happen anyway, compliant congress or not. By the time the special interests got their lawyers involved everything would be tied up in the federal courts for so long you'd be done with your second term (if you got one) & long since on the speaking tour/golf course circuit by the time everything got resolved.
Hell, you'd probably be dead of old age, buried & forgotten about by that time.
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J.R.
Honor Roll Joined: 15 Apr 2008 Status: Offline Points: 1886 |
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I would sell America to Canada and be wealthy for the rest of my life!
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regulus
Junior Executive Joined: 17 Apr 2008 Location: Nova Catacumba Status: Offline Points: 4436 |
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Here's a Good One (I have written to a Children's Advocacy group about it)
Require that Television Commercials carry the same Ratings as the Programming! (TV-Y, TV-7, TV-G, TV-14, TV-MA) and make it ILLEGAL to Place Ads on Shows with Lower Ratings! This would put an end to the Sex and "Bodily Function" Pill Ads at times when Children are bound to be watching.
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Poiuyt Power!!!
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Skippy
Honor Roll Formerly Skibibbles Joined: 23 Apr 2008 Location: Smalltown in PA Status: Offline Points: 1453 |
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Ooooohhhh, where to begin?
-Revamp education so that kids are learning stuff that really matters in the real world. More subjects like personal finance, and work ethic. And to end the evolution/ID debate: TEACH NEITHER! (I am still trying to figure out what evolution has to do with my job, since it was so important that I learn it). Hold teachers accountable for the content that they teach, and to keep personal agendas out of the classroom.
-Outlaw abortion.
-Destroy the ACLU.
-Instate an "Eye for an Eye" type punishment for criminals. If somebody were to receive the death penalty, they will receive their punishment in the same form that their victims suffered.
-Get the government out of marriage.
-Get out of Iraq. Not quite cold turkey, but as quickly as possible.
-Tax the cr*p out asian cars, and use the money to give the American automakers a shot at coming out ahead with future technology and alternate fuels.
Tax the cr*p out of companies that outsource jobs overseas
-Tax the cr*p out of Chinese garbage, until they raise their currency to a fair level
-Switch the $1 bills to coin form, and put the $2 bill back into circulation
-Get the US out of foreign affairs. Don't stick our nose where it don't belong
-Put prison labor to better use, by rebuilding our infastructure, and to take on projects that others do not want to do.
-Outlaw putting periods in phone numbers and dates
-Limit the amount of advertising on TV, and improve the content of commercials (no popups or dumb daddy ads)
-Help improve the environment in every way possible
-Outlaw reality TV shows
-Mandate that EVERY nonessential business close for major holidays. Everybody deserves a day off with their families.
-Wonder why people was Bush back as president when I am done
More to come.....
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Skippy
Honor Roll Formerly Skibibbles Joined: 23 Apr 2008 Location: Smalltown in PA Status: Offline Points: 1453 |
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We know, but it is fun to fantasize sometimes.
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Skerlnik
Honor Roll Joined: 16 Apr 2008 Location: Tucson Status: Offline Points: 4045 |
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Well, thanks! Either I'd be beloved or assassinated in the first week......and you got the job. Now, figure out the whole health care thing and get back to me 8:00 am Monday morning! Chop chop!
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"Oh, bother", said Pooh, as he chambered another round...
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Thor
Revolutionary Joined: 16 Apr 2008 Location: Rockaway, NJ Status: Offline Points: 63906 |
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Skibibbles for President!!
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Skerlnik
Honor Roll Joined: 16 Apr 2008 Location: Tucson Status: Offline Points: 4045 |
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Oh, and Jimbo, I think another thing I'd do is eliminate lobbyists and special interests' access to Congress. They are the number one reason nothing substantial seems to get done. I'm for sweeping reforms and changes, and the gov to regulate the hell out of what needs it (uh, hello, housing loan industry?) and get out of all the ticky-tack doofus stuff governments don't need to have their fingers into. - legalize gay marriage
- legalize and tax the crap out of marijuana, (releasing a huge number of minor possession prisoners)
- hold all levels of government accountable for its spending, releasing a simplified, itemized budget to the public (website)
- fund the hell out of electric car research, and mandate a switchover by 2020. (Putting food into our gas tanks is a bad idea, I think)
- actually ABIDE by international laws and agreements, like the Kyoto Protocols, and Geneva Convention Close Guantanamo and work hard to regain the moral respect of the world. Groveling would be required, and a lot of people won't like that, but.....
- dip our flag in salute to the Olympic Committee, like every other nation
- start buying back our debt from China
One really controversial thing I might want to do is re-visit the Constitution. Not with the intention of gutting it, but perhaps re-writing it, and bringing it up to modern day. It seems to me that the 2nd Amendment is rather vague, and other parts really need some clarification. Tommy Jefferson even suggested we revisit the Constitution every 20 years or so.
Personally, I'd replace the term "right" with "privilege", to emphasize that citizens have reciprocal responsibilities to their society, and the privileges are earned. Nothing is free.
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"Oh, bother", said Pooh, as he chambered another round...
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Skerlnik
Honor Roll Joined: 16 Apr 2008 Location: Tucson Status: Offline Points: 4045 |
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"Oh, bother", said Pooh, as he chambered another round...
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PaWolf
Revolutionary Hoary Ol' Chestnut... doncha know.... Joined: 15 Apr 2008 Location: GreatWhiteNorth Status: Offline Points: 40769 |
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X <sig.nature>
"What we do for ourselves dies with us, What we do for others is and remains immortal." - Albert Pike |
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CatWoman
Revolutionary Joined: 15 Apr 2008 Location: SW MI Status: Offline Points: 11401 |
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Um, Mr. President, never say Chop Chop to a wacko. It pisses us off. I may have to sneak into the Oval Office now and TP it. (I've actually done that to a guy's office at work....) Just say "I need this by 8am Monday, please..."
I'll make a few phone calls and get that report to you. I have a plan.
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Ad nauseous
Revolutionary Joined: 15 Apr 2008 Location: Connecticut Status: Offline Points: 23601 |
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Let me add if it were possible, I'd take away all the stinking weapons from Hezzbollah, and the Sunnis and Shiites and every other extremist group out there, if you can't act like adults and get along, well then settle it with your ****ing hands, no need to terrorize the rest of the ****ing city/country because you think you're right and they're wrong.
Sorry, just saw this new CNN video of residents being terrorized by the fighting, sad, it just pissed me off. sigh. |
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One good thing about TV-you could always turn it off
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Tiz
Revolutionary I donated! Joined: 15 Apr 2008 Location: Virginia Status: Offline Points: 15588 |
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regulus
Junior Executive Joined: 17 Apr 2008 Location: Nova Catacumba Status: Offline Points: 4436 |
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All Home Video Purchases would be Tax-Deductable!
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Poiuyt Power!!!
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