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Favorite Coronavirus/Covid-19 Jokes? :D

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Donathan View Drop Down
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    Posted: 13 Jul 2021 at 1:45pm
This was said in early February 2020 when Shutdowns hadn't happened yet. "How to get through long lines REALLY quickly? Just tell People you just came from China YESTERDAY...." LMAO!
My name is Donathan, pronounced the same way you pronounce Jonathan, except with a D.😀 Hitting on a Lesbian who speaks to you and about you like trash means you're REALLY desperate! 😀




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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Thor Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 13 Jul 2021 at 3:47pm

Oh, c'mon...there's gotta be better ones than that.

Anyone?

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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote MustangMarj Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 13 Jul 2021 at 6:22pm
Never in my life would I imagine that my hands would someday consume more alcohol than my mouth.
Don’t be a dick to your dog! He is a few years of your life, but you are all of his!
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote msmadz Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 13 Jul 2021 at 6:26pm
Originally posted by MustangMarj MustangMarj wrote:

Never in my life would I imagine that my hands would someday consume more alcohol than my mouth.


   Although, I think maybe I broke even.
The artist formerly known as Madawee



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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote aka ron Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 13 Jul 2021 at 6:45pm
LOL
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Donathan Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 13 Jul 2021 at 6:55pm
Originally posted by Thor Thor wrote:


Oh, c'mon...there's gotta be better ones than that.

Anyone?



Come on, would you REALLY want to be in line with someone who JUST came from China in February 2020?
My name is Donathan, pronounced the same way you pronounce Jonathan, except with a D.😀 Hitting on a Lesbian who speaks to you and about you like trash means you're REALLY desperate! 😀




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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote MustangMarj Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 13 Jul 2021 at 7:27pm
I never thought the comment "I wouldn't touch him/her with a six-foot pole" would become a national policy, but here we are!
Don’t be a dick to your dog! He is a few years of your life, but you are all of his!
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote MustangMarj Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 13 Jul 2021 at 7:29pm
Be warned: This is a groaner or maybe a Dad joke!

BREAKING: The World Health Organization has announced that dogs cannot contract COVID-19. Dogs previously held in quarantine can now be released. To be clear, WHO let the dogs out.
Don’t be a dick to your dog! He is a few years of your life, but you are all of his!
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote MustangMarj Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 13 Jul 2021 at 7:31pm
“mic drop”. 🎙
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Jimbo Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 13 Jul 2021 at 8:39pm
Originally posted by MustangMarj MustangMarj wrote:

Be warned: This is a groaner or maybe a Dad joke!

BREAKING: The World Health Organization has announced that dogs cannot contract COVID-19. Dogs previously held in quarantine can now be released. To be clear, WHO let the dogs out.

 

Wink


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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Thor Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 13 Jul 2021 at 8:40pm
Originally posted by MustangMarj MustangMarj wrote:

Be warned: This is a groaner or maybe a Dad joke!

BREAKING: The World Health Organization has announced that dogs cannot contract COVID-19. Dogs previously held in quarantine can now be released. To be clear, WHO let the dogs out.


Yeah, a bit of a groaner.

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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Jimbo Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 13 Jul 2021 at 8:45pm
Not exactly "COVID jokes" per se but....

Some quarantine musings seen here and there...

* Half of us are going to come out of this quarantine as amazing cooks. The other half will come out with a drinking problem.

* I used to spin the toilet paper like I was on Wheel of Fortune. Now I turn it like I’m cracking a safe.

* I need to practice social distancing from . . . the refrigerator.

* Still haven’t decided where to go for Easter/Passover . . . The Living Room or The Bedroom.

* Every few days, try your jeans on just to make sure they fit. Pajamas will have you believe all is well in the kingdom.

* Homeschooling is going well. 2 students suspended for fighting and 1 teacher fired for drinking on the job!

* I don’t think anyone expected that when we changed the clocks we’d go from Standard Time to Twilight Zone.

* This morning I saw a neighbor chatting to her dog. It was obvious she thought her dog understood her. I came into the house and told my cat . . . we laughed.

* So, after this quarantine, will the producers of My 600 Pound life just find me or do I find them?

* Quarantine Day 5: Went to this restaurant called THE KITCHEN. You have to gather all the ingredients and make your own meal. I have no clue how this place is still in business!

* My body has absorbed so much soap and disinfectant lately that when I pee it cleans the toilet.

* Day 5 of Homeschooling: One of these little monsters called in a bomb threat.

* I’m so excited . . . it’s time to take out the garbage. What to wear, what to wear?

* I hope the weather is good tomorrow for my trip to Puerto Backyardia. I’m getting tired of Los Livingroomia.

* Classified Ad: Single man with toilet paper seeks women with hand sanitizer for good clean fun.

* Day 6 of Homeschooling: My child just said “I hope I don’t have the same teacher next year.” I’m offended.
...the ads take aim and lay their claim to the heart and the soul of the spender
Jackson Browne - The Pretender

C'mon, man!
Joe Biden - 46th President of the United States
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Thor Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 13 Jul 2021 at 8:45pm

I think this is the funniest thing to come out of Covid. I like all the Easter eggs.



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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote MustangMarj Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 13 Jul 2021 at 8:51pm
Originally posted by Jimbo Jimbo wrote:

Originally posted by MustangMarj MustangMarj wrote:

Be warned: This is a groaner or maybe a Dad joke!

BREAKING: The World Health Organization has announced that dogs cannot contract COVID-19. Dogs previously held in quarantine can now be released. To be clear, WHO let the dogs out.


 

Wink





Can't say I didn't warn ya!😆
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote MustangMarj Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 13 Jul 2021 at 8:54pm
I have to say this has been a fun day with all the jokes! Jimbo, you outdid yourself! I'm still chuckling. 😁
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Jimbo Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 13 Jul 2021 at 8:56pm
Originally posted by MustangMarj MustangMarj wrote:

I have to say this has been a fun day with all the jokes! Jimbo, you outdid yourself! I'm still chuckling. 😁

I posted that on FB last year some time.
...the ads take aim and lay their claim to the heart and the soul of the spender
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote MustangMarj Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 13 Jul 2021 at 8:56pm
Still fresh in our minds!
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote MustangMarj Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 13 Jul 2021 at 8:57pm
Originally posted by Thor Thor wrote:


I think this is the funniest thing to come out of Covid. I like all the Easter eggs.





Thanks for the laugh!
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (1) Thanks(1)   Quote radioandnascarfan Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 14 Jul 2021 at 5:43pm
Originally posted by MustangMarj MustangMarj wrote:

Be warned: This is a groaner or maybe a Dad joke!

BREAKING: The World Health Organization has announced that dogs cannot contract COVID-19. Dogs previously held in quarantine can now be released. To be clear, WHO let the dogs out.

LOL
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Thor Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 17 Sep 2021 at 11:30pm
Here's three Covid jokes:



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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Jimbo Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 18 Sep 2021 at 1:25am
Originally posted by Thor Thor wrote:

Here's three Covid jokes:




Funny.

But this guy is still the clown...



And the biggest joke in history.


...the ads take aim and lay their claim to the heart and the soul of the spender
Jackson Browne - The Pretender

C'mon, man!
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