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Tiz
Revolutionary I donated! Joined: 15 Apr 2008 Location: Virginia Status: Offline Points: 15588 |
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BP CEO announces "Anyone with an idea for oil cleanup will get a complimentary car wash with next fillup."
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MrTim
Ad Exec Joined: 15 Apr 2008 Status: Offline Points: 10421 |
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Study shows that consuming food eventually leads to death; Experts urge quitting cold turkey as best preventative treatment. |
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MrTim
Ad Exec Joined: 15 Apr 2008 Status: Offline Points: 10421 |
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Helen Thomas to hit comedy club circuit; Says "If you thought my Israel comments were over the top, just wait until you hear my jokes!"
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MrTim
Ad Exec Joined: 15 Apr 2008 Status: Offline Points: 10421 |
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ObamaCare announces new Soylent Green seniors program; Woody Allen, 75, is first to volunteer: "They tell me I'll be a low sodium and low fat cracker, with just a slight taste of bitterness. And, I'll get my picture on the package. Eat your heart out, Paul Newman!"
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Ad nauseous
Revolutionary Joined: 15 Apr 2008 Location: Connecticut Status: Offline Points: 23601 |
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Executive Producer's head explodes after having an original thought.
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One good thing about TV-you could always turn it off
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MrTim
Ad Exec Joined: 15 Apr 2008 Status: Offline Points: 10421 |
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FDA declares that Oompa Loompas are not a dietary supplement; Vegans at a loss at what to take next
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MrTim
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Mysterious impact marks on ceiling of German cave leads to an exciting discovery; Remains confirm that Neanderthals were first to invent pogo sticks and crash helmets
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MrTim
Ad Exec Joined: 15 Apr 2008 Status: Offline Points: 10421 |
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How to tell if someone secretly belongs to a conspiracy group; Using the code word "pickles" causes them to aggressively react
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MrTim
Ad Exec Joined: 15 Apr 2008 Status: Offline Points: 10421 |
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Egyptian cab driver accidently runs over wandering mummy; Responding EMTs run out of bandages
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MrTim
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Man takes six Jell-O shots to stomach and lives; His fish tank, not so lucky
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MrTim
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Family sues fast food chain for $100 million; Claims ghost chased them out of restroom stall
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MrTim
Ad Exec Joined: 15 Apr 2008 Status: Offline Points: 10421 |
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Chimp from zoo signed on as Met's newest pitcher; Can sling poo at 100mph and is almost always on target
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Ad nauseous
Revolutionary Joined: 15 Apr 2008 Location: Connecticut Status: Offline Points: 23601 |
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Family Guy Canceled! Stewie Vows to take over the world and tells he hated the gay **** the creators done to him. |
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One good thing about TV-you could always turn it off
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MrTim
Ad Exec Joined: 15 Apr 2008 Status: Offline Points: 10421 |
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Missing Lost episode that explains everything found; Mass suicide of fans averted
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The Random Classic
Commercial Hater Joined: 16 Jun 2008 Status: Offline Points: 59 |
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Justin Bieber finally goes through Puberty: Singing career ruined! In other news, The suicide rate of girls 6-18 has gone up over 250%. |
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Commercials I Hate Rules!!!!
"Why does Godzilla care about subway?"-Hezadancer "Cats are animals.Their brains are the size of Milk Duds."-Kat |
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Tiz
Revolutionary I donated! Joined: 15 Apr 2008 Location: Virginia Status: Offline Points: 15588 |
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Mother Nature Called For Illegal Hit On Touchdown Jesus.
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MrTim
Ad Exec Joined: 15 Apr 2008 Status: Offline Points: 10421 |
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Schools move to ban mini marshmallows; Students using them as earplugs to sleep through class
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regulus
Junior Executive Joined: 17 Apr 2008 Location: Nova Catacumba Status: Offline Points: 4436 |
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Woman's Olympic Ski Champion gives her Gold Medals to President Obama. Says "He's going downhill faster than I am!"
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Poiuyt Power!!!
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MrTim
Ad Exec Joined: 15 Apr 2008 Status: Offline Points: 10421 |
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^^^ LOL
Local residents protest Amish porn club in neighborhood; "We were OK with the barn, but we drew the line when they started bringing animals into it at night"
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PaWolf
Revolutionary Hoary Ol' Chestnut... doncha know.... Joined: 15 Apr 2008 Location: GreatWhiteNorth Status: Offline Points: 40769 |
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BP has officially closed the borders! Illegal and Desperate Marine Life flooding SeaWorld and MarineLand
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X <sig.nature>
"What we do for ourselves dies with us, What we do for others is and remains immortal." - Albert Pike |
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MrTim
Ad Exec Joined: 15 Apr 2008 Status: Offline Points: 10421 |
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Nationwide prison food recall due to Purina accidently substituting "Kitteh chow" for "Prison kibble"; Inmates protesting the change back, actually prefer the pet food
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MrTim
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World chess champions Anand and Topalov deadlocked for 72 hours straight; Each thought it was the other's move
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MrTim
Ad Exec Joined: 15 Apr 2008 Status: Offline Points: 10421 |
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In Today's Food Section: Snacks-to-go for that hot summer drive home from work; Just leave a bag of microwave popcorn on the dashboard while you're away! |
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Tiz
Revolutionary I donated! Joined: 15 Apr 2008 Location: Virginia Status: Offline Points: 15588 |
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Gulf residents irked while BP's CEO is yachting. This just in: BP CEO's yacht was found vandalized with tar balls in the fuel tank. No one has come forward yet.
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MrTim
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Beachside sand sculpting competition canceled; Escaped lion used contest area as a litter box
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