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radioandnascarfan
Junior Executive Joined: 19 Nov 2019 Location: Toledo, OH Status: Offline Points: 2545 |
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MrTim
Ad Exec Joined: 15 Apr 2008 Status: Offline Points: 10421 |
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Busted: Nancy Pelosi caught on security camera illegally going to a closed hair salon during virus lockdown; Claims "Bitch set me up!"; May have trouble finding a new hairdresser after this
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MrTim
Ad Exec Joined: 15 Apr 2008 Status: Offline Points: 10421 |
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Protesters hang blow dryers and curlers on tree outside of Nancy Pelosi's home; Nobody seriously considering them to represent "nooses"
https://californiaglobe.com/section-2/protesters-hang-blow-dryers-on-tree-outside-nancy-pelosis-home/ |
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MrTim
Ad Exec Joined: 15 Apr 2008 Status: Offline Points: 10421 |
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Cockroaches: The next meat substitute? Proponents say they can be processed into any food, even your steak can still be crunchy
Obviously these enviro wackos have never eaten real food, at least not in a long time... |
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MrTim
Ad Exec Joined: 15 Apr 2008 Status: Offline Points: 10421 |
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The "Empty Nest" may soon be a thing of the past; Parents just can't seem to get their offspring to move out of the house, but experts say to have loud & wild sex to make them too uncomfortable to stay
https://www.dailywire.com/news/number-of-young-adults-living-with-their-parents-highest-on-record |
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MrTim
Ad Exec Joined: 15 Apr 2008 Status: Offline Points: 10421 |
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Box office success for sucky award winning movies no longer a factor; Cinematic art & talent told to conform to Affirmative Action if they want a chance to win an Oscar
https://variety.com/2020/film/news/oscars-inclusion-standards-best-picture-diversity-1234762727/ |
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MrTim
Ad Exec Joined: 15 Apr 2008 Status: Offline Points: 10421 |
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Illegal gender-reveal party in Toronto results in massive shootout; Witnesses say rival groups were firing at each other from two or more cars as people were leaving the party; Hatfields & McCoys deny involvement
https://thepostmillennial.com/over-80-gunshots-fired-at-etobicoke-gender-reveal-party-shootout |
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MrTim
Ad Exec Joined: 15 Apr 2008 Status: Offline Points: 10421 |
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Survey finds that people don't like being told by a doctor that their upcoming medical procedure has a 10% mortality rate; However, if told they have a 90% chance of survival, they are very happy
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MrTim
Ad Exec Joined: 15 Apr 2008 Status: Offline Points: 10421 |
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Would you like a nice glass of Jalapeno Noir to go with your chalupa? Taco Bell to compete with 'two buck chuck' by selling it's own wine brand; Street winos seen pushing their shopping carts to the drive-through window
https://uproxx.com/life/where-to-buy-taco-bell-jalapeno-noir-wine/ |
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MrTim
Ad Exec Joined: 15 Apr 2008 Status: Offline Points: 10421 |
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Touted summer blockbuster Tenet, or The Tent, or some other forgettable name, flops, and bad; Movie theatre owners left wondering why they bothered reopening for it, also stuck with tons of stale popcorn
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MrTim
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Unwashed street bum sneaks into 72nd Annual Emmy Awards, hosts show before anybody notices; Jimmy Kimmel found tied up in closet, crying and moaning "His jokes were so much better than mine!"
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MrTim
Ad Exec Joined: 15 Apr 2008 Status: Offline Points: 10421 |
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Gourmet cooks warned not to plan on having paprika turkey this Thanksgiving; Chinese snapping up world's supply of spice for some reason
https://www.americanthinker.com/blog/2020/09/so_what_happened_to_all_the_missing_paprika_on_the_store_shelves.html |
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MrTim
Ad Exec Joined: 15 Apr 2008 Status: Offline Points: 10421 |
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Millenials vs. Escape Rooms: Escape rooms usually win; Younger generation often stymied by rotary phone puzzles, sometimes until the time runs out
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MrTim
Ad Exec Joined: 15 Apr 2008 Status: Offline Points: 10421 |
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Just in time for Thanksgiving: Kraft releases Pumpkin Spice Mac & Cheese; Careful reading of label reveals that vomit bags are not included
https://www.outkick.com/kraft-pumpkin-spice-mac-cheese/ |
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MrTim
Ad Exec Joined: 15 Apr 2008 Status: Offline Points: 10421 |
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Masked intruder terrorizes news crews outside of White House; Witnesses confirm it wasn't Press Secretary McEnenny
https://www.dailywire.com/news/aggressive-raccoon-attacks-multiple-news-crews-outside-white-house |
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radioandnascarfan
Junior Executive Joined: 19 Nov 2019 Location: Toledo, OH Status: Offline Points: 2545 |
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MrTim
Ad Exec Joined: 15 Apr 2008 Status: Offline Points: 10421 |
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Five recently adopted parrots removed from wildlife park after swearing at visitors; "Once they start swearing and laughing at the visitors, they just won't stop until the people flee" say witnesses
https://www.independent.co.uk/news/uk/home-news/lincolnshire-wildlife-park-parrots-removed-swearing-visitors-b689494.html |
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MrTim
Ad Exec Joined: 15 Apr 2008 Status: Offline Points: 10421 |
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Shocking study finds that cardboard cutouts in sports stadiums are transferring Covid-19 to each other; Officials cite it's because they are not wearing masks, and might also be sharing food & drinks from the concession stands; Cardboard cutouts at riots, however, are at low risk
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MrTim
Ad Exec Joined: 15 Apr 2008 Status: Offline Points: 10421 |
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Trump campaign signs being stolen all across the country; Mostly by other supporters, as Trump signs are in short supply
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MrTim
Ad Exec Joined: 15 Apr 2008 Status: Offline Points: 10421 |
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President Trump recovering from Coronavirus; Millions returning voodoo dolls for a refund, claiming they were sold "worthless junk" by scammers
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MrTim
Ad Exec Joined: 15 Apr 2008 Status: Offline Points: 10421 |
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MTV turns 39 this year; Fans thank them for 14 years of music
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radioandnascarfan
Junior Executive Joined: 19 Nov 2019 Location: Toledo, OH Status: Offline Points: 2545 |
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That's very true! They only did play music for 14 years!
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MrTim
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Experts say waterbeds are good for two things, and one of them is sleep; Also, latest scientific study finds that the second mouse always gets the cheese from the trap
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radioandnascarfan
Junior Executive Joined: 19 Nov 2019 Location: Toledo, OH Status: Offline Points: 2545 |
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MrTim
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Coronavirus helping comedy pariah Kathy Griffin find work; Wearing a mask and not talking keys to not being recognized and getting a job
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