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MrTim
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History made as two famous lesbian cartoon squirrels marry; Rocky the Flying Squirrel and Sandy Cheeks (of Spongebob Squarepants fame) wed in well-attended ceremony; "Brides" respectively given away by Bullwinkle and Patrick Star
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MrTim
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Seattle and Portland PD's expected to follow suit |
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MrTim
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President to go on live TV to prove to everyone "how safe" the vaccination shot is; Trump will turn to Dr. Fauci, and jab him with the hypo
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MrTim
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Spiders are smarter than you think: Many species can extract sex hormones from their victims to attract more prey to their webs; Horny teens most at risk
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MrTim
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Last resting places of Betty Boop and friends discovered; Iconic cartoon characters' burial site found after being lost for decades; Location to remain private, for now
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MrTim
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Group of activists outraged after a black bear was recently seen in Asheville NC with a political sticker on its collar; On the plus side, the bear is safe from local hunters
https://ktxs.com/news/nation-world/reward-offered-for-information-on-who-put-trump-2020-sticker-on-bear?fbclid=IwAR3ZdrDFAIqs58FgDGvG2OmuC7ieB7vBJmnkXBfQt4fkyoGgS5shsC6SOes |
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MrTim
Ad Exec Joined: 15 Apr 2008 Status: Offline Points: 10421 |
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Iran attempts propaganda stunt by attacking fake US warship; They accidentally sink the ship and block entry to their main Naval Porthttps://www.thesun.co.uk/news/12308432/iran-humiliated-sinking-fake-us-warship-blocking-entry-port/ |
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MrTim
Ad Exec Joined: 15 Apr 2008 Status: Offline Points: 10421 |
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Weekly Conspiracy Sites Update: US Marines sent to secure Antarctica pyramids after Nazi penguins spotted nearby; Hitler's brain heard gibbering to itself over radio as it was flown away to safety in a UFO
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MrTim
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National Park Service issues new safety advice for visitors: "Please don't run from bears or push your slower friends down in attempts of saving yourself"
https://www.facebook.com/nationalparkservice/posts/10157206218541389?utm_source=fark&utm_medium=website&utm_content=link&ICID=ref_fark |
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MrTim
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University of Georgia urging students to wear masks while having sex; But for getting all sloppy & sharing other bodily fluids, "Go for it!"
https://www.dailywire.com/news/university-of-georgia-says-students-should-consider-wearing-a-mask-during-sex-report?%3Futm_source=twitter&utm_medium=social&utm_campaign=dwtwitter |
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MrTim
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Shoppers warned to "Be vigilant!"; This may happen to you:
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MrTim
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Joe Biden selects Kamala Harris as his VP running mate; "You don't mess with Corn Pop, she's a really bad dude"
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MrTim
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Breaking News! Statues starting to fight back against vandals!
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MrTim
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Religions around the world have noticed an increase in demonic activity, warn not to use Ouija boards; "Nobody will stop you, but... it's your funeral"
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MrTim
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EPA drone mapping Lake Michigan shoreline taken out by bald eagle; Eagle-watchers said the bird "just beat the crap out of the drone"
https://pjmedia.com/news-and-politics/rick-moran/2020/08/15/bald-eagle-bests-michigan-epa-drone-in-epic-battle-of-the-titans-n796375 |
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Angry McPisseron
Honor Roll Formerly AngryMcPisseron Joined: 20 Apr 2008 Location: Fresno CA. Status: Offline Points: 13345 |
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I've had flocks of very piddled-off birds attack my drone on a number of occasions, but I've not had a large bird like an eagle attack my drone.
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MrTim
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Donald Trump predicted to mess with postal service to block
vote-by-mail in nefarious scheme to get re-elected; Voting in person is best way to prevent that, say experts
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MrTim
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America's Got Talent ratings stomped all networks' combined coverage of DNC convention; Usually loyal audiences of sleep-inducing NPR & PBS shut off their radios & TV's so as to "not induce nightmares"
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MrTim
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Survey finds that sex on the beach is just as popular as ever; However, despite large blankets, sand is still the ultimate mood killer
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MrTim
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Periods at end of sentences seen as "a microaggression" by young people; "Grow up," say the adults. "Emoticons are not proper punctuation."
https://www.msn.com/en-nz/lifestyle/smart-living/full-stops-intimidating-to-young-people-linguists/ar-BB18kc4d?pfr=1 |
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MrTim
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Scientists map giant squid genome, investigating ways to clone them; Calamari enthusiasts rejoice
https://www.outerplaces.com/science/item/19535-giant-squid-genome |
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MrTim
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Have strange things you didn't order been showing up at your door, like My Little Pony bath soaps or underage Thai hookers? Amazon's Alexa may be ordering stuff for you it heard you talking about in your sleep
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MrTim
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Survey finds that people only join mostly boring Zoom meetings in hopes of seeing some chance drama; Here's an example of what they sometimes find:
https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-8669433/Government-boss-caught-having-SEX-secretary-accidentally-joining-Zoom-meeting.html?utm_source=fark&utm_medium=website&utm_content=link&ICID=ref_fark |
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MrTim
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TikTok soaring in popularity with those of shorter attention spans than Twitter users (they don't have to read) and even shorter memory; Constant barrage of bad puns and duets drives off most normal people after a few days, say social media experts
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MrTim
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1960's History You Never Knew About: The Nippies; The all but forgotten Nude Hippies only lived in warm climates, and were infamous for their bug-catching naked motorcycle rides
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