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This Just In! Late Breaking News

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MrTim View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote MrTim Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 26 Nov 2019 at 5:22am
LEGO planning to find replacement material for it's plastic bricks;  One option is solidified non-smokable hemp, "which would also be softer if stepped on"


https://www.popularmechanics.co.za/stuff/lego-plans-to-find-replacement-material-for-bricks-by-2030/
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote MrTim Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 28 Nov 2019 at 5:29am
Ignorant People Who Never Cooked For Themselves telling everybody not to rinse raw poultry "because it won't get rid of the germs";  Any hair, dirt, fecal matter, or blood on your unwashed food "is okay, though, because it's within FDA limits for such contaminates"
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote MrTim Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 01 Dec 2019 at 5:29am
Another named event has been added to the yearly calendar;  "Blue Saturday" is the day after Black Friday, when you realize just how much money you spent and how sad it makes you
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote MrTim Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 02 Dec 2019 at 6:08am
The surprising reasons why the Sunday after Thanksgiving is the second busiest day of travel of the year:  Compared to the busiest day, many just don't want to return home, and others die
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote MrTim Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 04 Dec 2019 at 5:37am
Josh Brolin joins fad of butthole sun tanning, discovers he should have used sunblock;  Actor cries for days after sunburning his poop hole, warns others against "overdoing it"


https://www.foxnews.com/lifestyle/perineum-sunning-josh-brolin
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote MrTim Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 05 Dec 2019 at 5:32am
No headline really necessary;  The link says it all:

https://legalinsurrection.com/2019/12/highly-contagious-urine-sent-to-wrong-address-forces-evacuation-of-movie-theater-showing-frozen-2/
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote MrTim Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 07 Dec 2019 at 5:22am
Thousands of inmates filing "cruel & unusual punishment" lawsuits;  Claimed that prison TV showed Trump impeachment hearing coverage live, and they had no way to escape it
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote MrTim Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 09 Dec 2019 at 5:51am
Sighs of relief around the country;  Statistics show the last of the leftovers are finally gone the second Sunday after Thanksgiving
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote MrTim Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 10 Dec 2019 at 6:02am
Adolf Hitler's soiled underwear from his 1945 suicide sells at auction for £3.6 million;  Seller and buyer remain anonymous, but experts confirmed the authenticity of the historic item
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote MrTim Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 13 Dec 2019 at 5:58am
Kids freaking out before Christmas;  Santa's 'Gimme These Toys Now!' app is down, greedy tykes redirected to submit requests via fax
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote MrTim Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 14 Dec 2019 at 6:04am
Triscuit-deckaphobia? Nabisco releases a thirteen-sided cracker just for the occasional Friday the Thirteenth
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote MrTim Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 16 Dec 2019 at 5:50am
Fake guacamole in restaraunts more prevalent than you think;  But, some food experts say it often tastes better than the real thing

https://www.foodandwine.com/syndication/fake-guacamole-taqueria
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote MrTim Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 18 Dec 2019 at 5:57am
Why so many bodies of people who died trying to climb Mt. Everest will never be recovered:  Reports confirmed that Himalayan Yeti often grab the frozen corpses for a quick and easy meal
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote MrTim Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 21 Dec 2019 at 6:07am
Porch pirates stepping up their game;  Thieves leaving exploding turd box bombs in place of the packages they steal;  Recipients urged to "check their deliveries carefully" before taking them inside
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote MrTim Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 22 Dec 2019 at 5:48am
Climate change rally in South Florida turns into stampede as activists protesting against rising sea levels flee in panic from sudden high water at beach;  Meteorologists say not to worry, as "it's only high tide, which happens at least once a day"
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote MrTim Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 25 Dec 2019 at 5:30am
Santa made his annual Christmas sleigh run early this morning, even future Bond villians received presents;  Most popular gift this year was popcorn, in all varieties of flavors
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote MrTim Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 26 Dec 2019 at 5:42am
Sick of those 'new' gas cans that don't work?  Be heard and change it!

https://petitions.whitehouse.gov/petition/bring-back-old-gas-cans
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote MrTim Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 27 Dec 2019 at 5:49am
(Part 1 in a continuing series)

Whatever happened to the Peanuts characters?  Peppermint Patty became a long-haul trucker and married a river barge captain
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote MrTim Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 28 Dec 2019 at 5:24am
(Part 2 in a continuing series)

Whatever happened to the Peanuts characters?  Marcy was a deep cover Chinese espionage agent;  She grew up to become Honey from Doonesbury
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote MrTim Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 29 Dec 2019 at 5:53am
(Part 3 in a continuing series)

Whatever happened to the Peanuts characters?  Schroeder was (allegedly) groped by Kevin Spacey, and became an agoraphobic recluse;  He refuses to be in a room if only one other person is present 
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote MrTim Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 31 Dec 2019 at 5:09am
Most people happy that the last Monday of 2019 is over;  All things considered, it wasn't too bad, they say;  Also, only 360 more shopping days left until next Christmas!
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote MrTim Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 01 Jan 2020 at 4:58am
You will all be dead in the next 5 days;  2004 predictions still have a short time to actually occur;  Scoffers say "You idgits can't even predict tomorrow's weather!"


https://summit.news/2019/12/27/report-hyped-by-climate-alarmists-warned-of-million-of-deaths-nuclear-war-sunken-major-cities-by-2020/
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote MrTim Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 03 Jan 2020 at 5:51am
(Part 4 in a continuing series)

Whatever happened to the Peanuts characters?  Rerun Van Pelt was raised to be a genetically compatible organ donor for the rest of the family;  Parts of him still live on in them
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote MrTim Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 05 Jan 2020 at 5:38am
Iranian General Suliemani killed by missiles at Bagdad airport after trying to avoid TSA security checkpoint;  TSA says "We take security breaches very seriously, and deal with them appropriately"
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote MrTim Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 06 Jan 2020 at 5:47am
(Part 4 in a continuing series)

Whatever happened to the Peanuts characters? In his old age, Snoopy came down with canine hip displacia and had to be put to sleep;  The parents told the kids that he was sent back to the Daisy Hill Puppy Farm
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