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MrTim
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Australian man on meth binge believed dead after attempting to rape crocodile; Police unsure if croc was male or female, but apparently it wasn't a consensual relationship
(Crazy. Witness interviews in the link )
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MrTim
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Barbie gaining new gay and metrosexual friends; Mattel releases 15 new "diverse" Ken dolls
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MrTim
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Canada declares 'twerking' a crime and public health hazard for the obese and out-of-shape; Those who seek medical attention due to twerking injuries could face charges
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MrTim
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Social experts announce acceptable reactions to "Public Displays of Affection": Yes, you are allowed to critique and offer pointers to couples engaged in PDA, though "getting a room" still best way to avoid such attention
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MrTim
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The Vikings were actually quite advanced and even had toilets; Historians speculate that the great raids on monasteries were intended to collect reading material
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MrTim
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Trapped in a lifeboat for months on the ocean with no food? Survival experts say the Number 1 fatal mistake is eating other survivors; Instead, "using pieces of a deceased person as bait to catch fish is a more self-sustaining practice and avoids many squeamish moral issues"
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MrTim
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Due to murkiness of PC-inflicted gender identity crisis, doctors being asked by expectant parents if they are having a boy or a girl are now answering with "Probably"; Sales for baby shower party supplies also falling, despite new growth in niche categories
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MrTim
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New study finds that most people don't care to see your vacation photos on Facebook; In fact, those same people are more likely to make fun of your ugly swimwear or family in forums you are excluded from
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MrTim
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Suspected UFO crash debris in field deemed "not a real thing"; Partiers left behind piles of beer cans that were shredded as farmer ploughed field looked "pretty convincing" to some
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MrTim
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Illinois has bang-up July 4th; Chicago pleased to report that no airliners were shot down this year due to celebratory gunfire
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MrTim
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Extra! Extra! Read all about it! Massive fishkill off New Jersey beaches! Governor Christie denies he peed in the water! |
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MrTim
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Trying to make ends meet, senior citizen cyber crime on rise; Rivalling even younger tech-savvy people, organised elders have managed to pull off lucrative internet casino heists without getting caught
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MrTim
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Professional runner from Kenya outruns two charging black bears in Maine; No word on the fate of his slower companion
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MrTim
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Reason why Stonehenge was built in a circle discovered; Archaeologist explains "It made it easier to park UFOs around it"
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MrTim
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Corn an "undiscovered aphrodisiac" say sexperts; ER staffs urge caution when handling cobs, warning "Better to just don't" after treating many disturbing incidents
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MrTim
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The Food Section Today's Dining Out Tip: Eat only in well-lit places, and avoid the jello desserts at strip joint salad bars
http://www.craveonline.com/mandatory/1293459-breast-implant-found-utensil-holder-texas-strip-club |
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MrTim
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Illiterate people filing class action lawsuit against people who can read because they feel discriminated against; Sign language users also being dragged into the fight because "we think they might be saying mean things about us" with their hands
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MrTim
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Survey of funeral planning has a surprise finding: Most people prefer hearses that have that new car smell
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MrTim
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Trapped minors rescued after almost hour-long ordeal; School custodian opened door after it was discovered they had been accidently locked in gym
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MrTim
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Robot security guard apparently commits suicide by falling into a mall fountain; Many skeptical, though, believing it "died" while attempting to steal loose change from the bottom
http://www.zerohedge.com/news/2017-07-17/robot-security-guard-commits-suicide-mall-fountain |
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MrTim
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The female of the species not always deadlier, but is sometimes just plain dumber than the male:
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MrTim
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Movie studios moving their operations to cheaper Venezuela; Due to country's government-induced economic collapse, actors and film crews will actually work just for food
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MrTim
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Norse god Thor actor Chris Hemsworth thinks "female Thor" is groundbreakingly progressive; Hardcore Thor fans respond "You were pretty convincing as a transgender Thor yourself, pal"
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MrTim
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Under threat of litigation, National and State Parks to put Handicapped Parking spaces within walking distance of hiking trails
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MrTim
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The "List Of Offended People" grows again; Group wants to ban the use of lowercase "b" & "d" because the letters "look pregnant and might subliminally encourage teen pregnancies"
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