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Fifty Shades of Crap

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Chillinpat View Drop Down
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    Posted: 23 Jul 2014 at 8:35pm


Some of you may be fans of the book, but this smut has been poisoning the air waves on television.  This is an NC17 movie and these trailers are actually airing in the afternoon on regular television stations when children are awake.  This one aired on my channel 11 NBC channel on 3 p.m. in the afternoon.  I'm quite sick of seeing them and no, I WON'T SEE THE MOVIE!.

Right Video!
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Papa Lazarou Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 23 Jul 2014 at 8:40pm
I hope they make all the blood and period stuff in the vein of 80's horror movies. Be funny to see all those mentally deranged and unstable women going off to see some "sweet endearing, sexy romantic movie" -insert hand flutter here-

Only to be greeted by the sight of 100 gallons of bright red bubbling blood shooting out of the girl's vagina when the guy rips her tampon out

(Yes, that's the ONLY thing I know about the books, and quite frankly, more than I ever wanted to know, but at least it's useful for making fun of the fans.
Banana!
BANANA!!
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote insanity213 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 23 Jul 2014 at 8:42pm
I think you may have posted the wrong video link, Pat Wink
"Think of how stupid the average person is, and then realize half of 'em are stupider than that." - George Carlin


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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Chillinpat Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 23 Jul 2014 at 8:51pm
There are more trailers than just that one that seems to be aired every other day or so, this is the newest one I say today.
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote DKS Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 23 Jul 2014 at 9:18pm
Originally posted by Chillinpat Chillinpat wrote:

This is an NC17 movie


Are you sure? Given that that rating is basically the kiss of death for theatrical showings, I seriously, seriously don't see a movie that's supposed to be a major hit given that rating.
"I see the sadness in their eyes
Melancholy in their cries
Devoid of all the passion
The human spirit cannot die"
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Chillinpat Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 23 Jul 2014 at 9:22pm
I watched the "official" trailer on YouTube, and that is the rating that was shown at the beginning of the trailer.

Here is an article [I can't stand Beyonce] that the film will have two rated R and an NC-17 rating as well, so there will be different versions of the film.

http://www.hallels.com/articles/2640/20140721/fifty-shades-of-grey-movie-spoilers-beyonce-shares-sneak-preview-with-instagram-fans.htm
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote insanity213 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 23 Jul 2014 at 9:50pm
I've been skimming through some reviews for this garbage (the book) and found this gem on Amazon LOL

http://www.amazon.com/review/R2JF7E91JJVHAT/


And going by the enormous amount of bad reviews like this one just on Amazon, there's hope that the movie will be a major flop and we won't have to hear about it much.



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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Chillinpat Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 23 Jul 2014 at 10:41pm
"It seriously feels like 2 teenage girls got together and decided to create their "dream man" and came up with Christian Grey."

HILARIOUS!
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Thor Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 23 Jul 2014 at 10:53pm

I know little about either the book (some sort of sex novel?) or the movie.  All I know is that the book seems to have been hugely popular, yet no one will admit to having liked it or even read it.


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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Papa Lazarou Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 23 Jul 2014 at 11:38pm
I liked this review that offered a condensed version of the book:

Quote Once upon a time...
I'm Ana. I'm clumsy and naive. I like books. I dig this guy. He couldn't possibly like me. He's rich. I wonder if he's gay? His eyes are gray. Super gray. Intensely gray. Intense AND gray. Serious and gray. Super gray. Dark and gray. [insert 100+ other ways to say "gray eyes" here]
I blush. I gasp. He touches me "down there." I gasp again. He gasps. We both gasp. I blush some more. I gasp some more. I refer to my genitals as "down there" a few more times. I blush some more. Sorry, I mean I "flush" some more. I bite my lip. He gasps a lot more. More gasping. More blushing/flushing. More lip biting. Still more gasping.
The end.


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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Jimbo Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 24 Jul 2014 at 12:01am
Sounds like typical "chick sh*t".

Great news guys.... With the Air Hawk, flat balls are no longer a problem!!!
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Synesthesia Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 24 Jul 2014 at 12:43am
Why the hell does 50 shades of steaming dog crap EVEN EXIST?!?!?  Angry
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote verminstew Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 24 Jul 2014 at 12:59am
Originally posted by Papa Lazarou Papa Lazarou wrote:

I hope they make all the blood and period stuff in the vein of 80's horror movies. Be funny to see all those mentally deranged and unstable women going off to see some "sweet endearing, sexy romantic movie" -insert hand flutter here-

Only to be greeted by the sight of 100 gallons of bright red bubbling blood shooting out of the girl's vagina when the guy rips her tampon out

(Yes, that's the ONLY thing I know about the books, and quite frankly, more than I ever wanted to know, but at least it's useful for making fun of the fans.

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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Ad nauseous Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 24 Jul 2014 at 2:10am
50 Shades Of Grey $#%t!
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Crackicus Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 24 Jul 2014 at 4:12am
I'm lucky in that I haven't seen this ad (and I'm scared to watch the embedded vid). I did see ads for it on a forum I frequent.

We don't need ad revenue THAT badly, do we?
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote MrTim Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 24 Jul 2014 at 4:56am
I'm so disinterested in the book that I won't even bother to look for it in the library....
 
Quote Papa Lazarou wrote:

I hope they make all the blood and period stuff in the vein of 80's horror movies. Be funny to see all those mentally deranged and unstable women going off to see some "sweet endearing, sexy romantic movie" -insert hand flutter here-

Only to be greeted by the sight of 100 gallons of bright red bubbling blood shooting out of the girl's vagina when the guy rips her tampon out

(Yes, that's the ONLY thing I know about the books, and quite frankly, more than I ever wanted to know, but at least it's useful for making fun of the fans.
 
What would be worse if it was hot waxed out along with the area "down there":  "Two birds with one stone, as they say, Ana!" <RIIIIIP>  <screeee....!>
 
(I cringe even writing that.)
 
OTOH a crossover with another franchise to make Fifty Shades of Twilight might be entertaining....
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote DKS Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 24 Jul 2014 at 2:56pm
Originally posted by MrTim MrTim wrote:

OTOH a crossover with another franchise to make Fifty Shades of Twilight might be entertaining....


This is the crossover that would make Twilight entertaining:

"I see the sadness in their eyes
Melancholy in their cries
Devoid of all the passion
The human spirit cannot die"
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote insanity213 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 24 Jul 2014 at 3:45pm
^^ LOL LOL

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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote msmadz Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 24 Jul 2014 at 4:00pm
Some people think they're intelligent because they read books that are on the NY Times Best seller list. Bear in mind, the list also has authors like Debbie Macomber and Danielle Steele up in the top 10. I wouldn't exactly call those authors writing any kinds of literary gems.
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Dr.HortonWho Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 24 Jul 2014 at 5:19pm
My wife is a librarian (NOT stereotypical, LOL!), and when the books came out, she said that it's a second-rate story that's only become a sensation because it was marketed to "adult women". The sex stuff is pedestrian by today's standards, but they made it into a series that could be read "in public"(on the beach, in the break room, etc.), especially on a tablet, and make the reader look cool, rather than perverted, by passers by.
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Chillinpat Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 24 Jul 2014 at 5:21pm
I guess Hollywood is so desperate these days to make movies out of anything.
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Snesgamer Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 24 Jul 2014 at 7:36pm
Originally posted by DKS DKS wrote:

Originally posted by MrTim MrTim wrote:

OTOH a crossover with another franchise to make Fifty Shades of Twilight might be entertaining....


This is the crossover that would make Twilight entertaining:



This would be kind of fun too though:



Dracula is no match for the Belmonts - how would sparkly bitch Edward fare against the legendary Vampire Killer whip?
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote insanity213 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 24 Jul 2014 at 7:44pm
Or the ultimate Vampire slayers .. the Frog Brothers LOL


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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote MrTim Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 25 Jul 2014 at 5:03am
Originally posted by Chillinpat Chillinpat wrote:

I guess Hollywood is so desperate these days to make movies out of anything.
 
And don't forget that in another 5 or 10 years they'll do a remake, or a "reboot" (like starting Superman & Spiderman from the beginning, again....)
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote verminstew Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 25 Jul 2014 at 12:32pm
Yesterday at work I wanted to beat my skull against my desk.  The broody hens were all gushing over the trailer and books.  One of the girls said she is going to have to wait to see the movie on DVD.  Why, they ask?  Because she couldn't even read the books if she wasn't alone in the houseSick
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