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Do You Poop Enough?

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PaWolf View Drop Down
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    Posted: 05 Jul 2013 at 11:02pm
ConfusedCry...I....I...I dunno - but I'll try one more time as I sit in my office chair....
 
Do you POOP enough?

Do you POOP enough?

Are you eating this ”healthy” food that HARMS your digestion

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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Jimbo Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 06 Jul 2013 at 12:08am
Thst's one of those stupid, annoying, bullsh*t internet ads that keeps promising you & promising you that they're gonna explain something, or tell you some relevant information shortly, while they just keep dancing around, dropping little hints to keep you hooked until you finally find out if you want to find out their big miracle whatever it is, you have to pay for it.

I give that crap about 30 seconds before I click on the X.

And btw, I poop quite frequently.

Usually a good two or three times a day.

Sometimes more, especially if I drink milk.


Great news guys.... With the Air Hawk, flat balls are no longer a problem!!!
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Thor Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 06 Jul 2013 at 2:15am
 
I thought this was some old Donathan thread being revived.
 
I don't allow myself more than one crap a day.  I crap and then I take a shower.  If I have to crap again later on---sorry, it's gonna have to wait until the morning.  I keep my bowels disciplined and regular.  None of this free-for-all, "when the spirit moves me" stuff.  I'm no hippie.
 
 
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote PaWolf Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 06 Jul 2013 at 2:38am

Having read that, I'd suggest you might be F.O.S.

If poop is on its way, no reason to let it play 'panty prairie dog' - "if it's a'pokin' its head, it's better left for dead!" ('pawism' #7).
 
Yup! That's what *I* always told our younguns!
 
"sh*t your britches, get your stitches!..." (pawism #8). I'd tell the lil'spermmistakes, "because, if you do, you're going to wear those pants until your mother gets home...".
 
No Thor - don't be a sh*thead - the toilet will love you for feeding it, and, well...so will everyone around you. Love it, use it freely and as often as you need.
 
 
 
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Jimbo Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 06 Jul 2013 at 2:41am
That's not good for you.

And what if you reeeaaallly had to sh*t & you've already sh*t once that day?

Would you just walk around suffering all day, squeezing & grunting & doubling over in pain?

And forget about sleeping!!!

How do you keep from sh*tting the bed??????


Great news guys.... With the Air Hawk, flat balls are no longer a problem!!!
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Jimbo Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 06 Jul 2013 at 2:46am
Originally posted by PaWolf PaWolf wrote:

Having read that, I'd suggest you might be F.O.S.


If poop is on its way, no reason to let it play 'panty prairie dog' - "if it's a'pokin' its head, it's better left for dead!" ('pawism' #7).

Yup.

That's what *I* always told our younguns!

"sh*t your britches, get your stitches!..." (pawism #8). I'd tell the lil'spermmistakes, "because, if you do, you're going to wear those pants until your mother gets home...".

No Thor - don't be a sh*thead - the toilet will love you for feeding it, and, well...so will everyone around you.


I think he was just sh*ttin us, Pa.

Sounds like something he heard or read somewhere.

Great news guys.... With the Air Hawk, flat balls are no longer a problem!!!
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Snesgamer Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 06 Jul 2013 at 2:49am
Originally posted by Thor Thor wrote:

 
I thought this was some old Donathan thread being revived.
 
I don't allow myself more than one crap a day.  I crap and then I take a shower.  If I have to crap again later on---sorry, it's gonna have to wait until the morning.  I keep my bowels disciplined and regular.  None of this free-for-all, "when the spirit moves me" stuff.  I'm no hippie.
 
 


The last post I remember from Donathan was about how Florida resembled a... no - actually, I don't want to talk about it. Let's just say a topic titled "Do you poop enough?" would be among his tamer ones.Cry
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Thor Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 06 Jul 2013 at 3:30am
Originally posted by Jimbo Jimbo wrote:

Originally posted by PaWolf PaWolf wrote:

Having read that, I'd suggest you might be F.O.S.


If poop is on its way, no reason to let it play 'panty prairie dog' - "if it's a'pokin' its head, it's better left for dead!" ('pawism' #7).

Yup.

That's what *I* always told our younguns!

"sh*t your britches, get your stitches!..." (pawism #8). I'd tell the lil'spermmistakes, "because, if you do, you're going to wear those pants until your mother gets home...".

No Thor - don't be a sh*thead - the toilet will love you for feeding it, and, well...so will everyone around you.


I think he was just sh*ttin us, Pa.

Sounds like something he heard or read somewhere.

 
Nope.  Not kidding at all.  I'll admit that there have been a few exceptions over the years (and more than a few when I was sick in 2005), but I'll bet none in the past few years.  Most of it is that, once I take my perfect (#3 or #4 on the Bristol Scale) daily crap, I'm done.  I don't need to go again until the next day.  Also, when I go to take a dump, I sit down and in seconds, it's out.  It's quicker than taking a leak.  No reading material in my bathroom.
 
Maybe you're just jealous of my regularity and perfectly-formed bowel movements.  Everyone is.
 
 
 
Bristol Scale:
 
 
 
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote PaWolf Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 06 Jul 2013 at 3:42am
Originally posted by Thor Thor wrote:

Originally posted by Jimbo Jimbo wrote:

Originally posted by PaWolf PaWolf wrote:

Having read that, I'd suggest you might be F.O.S.


If poop is on its way, no reason to let it play 'panty prairie dog' - "if it's a'pokin' its head, it's better left for dead!" ('pawism' #7).

Yup.

That's what *I* always told our younguns!

"sh*t your britches, get your stitches!..." (pawism #8). I'd tell the lil'spermmistakes, "because, if you do, you're going to wear those pants until your mother gets home...".

No Thor - don't be a sh*thead - the toilet will love you for feeding it, and, well...so will everyone around you.


I think he was just sh*ttin us, Pa.

Sounds like something he heard or read somewhere.

 
Nope.  Not kidding at all.  I'll admit that there have been a few exceptions over the years (and more than a few when I was sick in 2005), but I'll bet none in the past few years.  Most of it is that, once I take my perfect (#3 or #4 on the Bristol Scale) daily crap, I'm done.  I don't need to go again until the next day.  Also, when I go to take a dump, I sit down and in seconds, it's out.  It's quicker than taking a leak.  No reading material in my bathroom.
 
Maybe you're just jealous of my regularity and perfectly-formed bowel movements.  Everyone is.
 
 
 
Bristol Scale:
 
 
 
ConfusedOhhh, aren't YOU 'special',"Mr. Big Man on The Bristol Scale"!
Who isn't a 'perfect 3 or 4'?! That scale is full of crap - you sound like one of those 'crapophobes' that are afraid to drop a loaf away from home and an immediate shower (and, well...I really don't know anyone who really enjoys that, unless nature is screaming in their (r)ear). Better carry your own toilet with you if you ever take a trip outside the United States. Don't forget the washcloths and the bar of Lava Soap.
 
 
"Life is serene when the butt is kept clean, pristine and unseen"
 
 
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Thor Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 06 Jul 2013 at 3:51am
 
^  I know people who use baby wipes instead of toilet paper.  They swear by it.
 
Really, my motivation in taking a shower afterwards is to be able to rid myself of the errant anal remnant that gets stuck in the gate and bothers me all day.
 
 
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote PaWolf Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 06 Jul 2013 at 3:52am
Originally posted by Jimbo Jimbo wrote:

...And btw, I poop quite frequently.

Usually a good two or three times a day.

Sometimes more, especially if I drink milk.


Me too - and I feel pretty good about it.
I'll ready go two rounds in the morning - one before morning ride, with first cup of coffee - but, once home and with that second cup!  "Thar she blows!"
And, well - if possible, that before-bedtime 'squeeze in the breeze' is an event that really can please! Talk about a 'good night's sleep'! IndeedBig smile
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote PaWolf Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 06 Jul 2013 at 3:54am
Originally posted by Thor Thor wrote:

 
^  I know people who use baby wipes instead of toilet paper.  They swear by it.
 
Really, my motivation in taking a shower afterwards is to be able to rid myself of the errant anal remnant that gets stuck in the gate and bothers me all day.
 
 
You must be referring to the 'Dingleberries'
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote verminstew Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 06 Jul 2013 at 4:08am
Panty prairie dog, LOL!  We always referred to it as turtle head.  
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote PaWolf Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 06 Jul 2013 at 4:19am
Big smileAll this chatter about poop suddenly got to me, doncha know.
All at once, it was time for "Bowling at Bedtime!" - I feel SO light on my feet right now!
Pretty sure I flushed a perfect '300', but I know we ran out of toilet paper.
I'm tired and ready for nappies, so I'll wait until MissyDWolf notices.
I tried to find something in a hurry for her, so I left these on the sink - think they'll do?
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Jimbo Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 06 Jul 2013 at 4:28am
Originally posted by PaWolf PaWolf wrote:

"Life is serene when the butt is kept clean, pristine and unseen"


I'm gonna let you all in on a little "secret"...

I call this the "Poor Man's Bidet".

Works great. Rinses your butthole nice & clean & reduces the amount of toilet paper you need to use.

Leaves you feeling like you just took a shower after a dump.

I'm talking about one of these...



Just a few bucks at any drug store or Walmart.

And no, you don't "insert" anything anywhere. Just fill it up with water, reach around behind you, point it in the "general direction" & give it a good hard squeeze. You'll know if the water is "hitting the spot".

Refill & repeat about 4 - 6 times. Maybe a couple more if it's a "sticky" one.

Keep an old bowl near the lavatory & get used to filling it up with water before you sit. I can reach my lavatory from the throne because they're right next to each other, so it's right there.

I've been doing this for a few years now & I'd never go back to dry. This really cleans you off. Usually, there's nothing on the toilet paper but water.

I give it two thumbs up!!!

Great news guys.... With the Air Hawk, flat balls are no longer a problem!!!
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Tiz Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 06 Jul 2013 at 10:31pm
 *I thought this was some old Donathan thread being revived.*

I thought this was gonna be another Pa "Poll". Wink

1: How much is enough Pa?
2: Is that per day Pa?
3:Does having to double flush mean too much, Pa? 
 
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Papa Lazarou Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 06 Jul 2013 at 10:49pm
Maybe Pa enjoys some double impact in the bathroom?

Banana!
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Jimbo Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 06 Jul 2013 at 11:22pm
I've often felt that maybe Pa was in need of a good "pipe cleaning".

Or "drain snaking" if you will.

Great news guys.... With the Air Hawk, flat balls are no longer a problem!!!
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote PaWolf Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 07 Jul 2013 at 1:40am
Originally posted by Tiz Tiz wrote:

 *I thought this was some old Donathan thread being revived.*

I thought this was gonna be another Pa "Poll". Wink

1: How much is enough Pa?
2: Is that per day Pa?
3:Does having to double flush mean too much, Pa? 
 
Answers:
1.) Are you checking me out?!
2,) 'Dawn'-'Daytime'-'Dusk'-'Night' - and then each time period can be sectioned....
3.) A 'Double Flush' is a 'Real Man's Flush' - never do ANYTHING half-way! No such thing as 'half-full of sh*t', so sit down and sh*t like you mean it (or put that dress on, soldier!).
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote PaWolf Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 07 Jul 2013 at 2:02am
Originally posted by Jimbo Jimbo wrote:

I've often felt that maybe Pa was in need of a good "pipe cleaning".

Or "drain snaking" if you will.

CryNo No NEVER! (again)
(Long ago and far away in a land near Paula Deen)
Left a hospital after outpatient surgery before 'peeing in the cup', once.
Had to go to the ER about midnight when it became a choice of pee-or-explode, and I couldn't pee.
An old 'Nazi Nurse' greased up the ol'cath (or maybe it was a McDonald's 'Shake Straw)' and insterted without prejudice.
"You're lucky! No infection!"
I had NO idea one could hold as much pee as I did.
Never again.
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Jimbo Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 07 Jul 2013 at 2:11am
I was talking about the other side, Pa....

Great news guys.... With the Air Hawk, flat balls are no longer a problem!!!
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Papa Lazarou Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 07 Jul 2013 at 2:15am
Banana!
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BANANA!!!
BANANA!!
Banana!
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The Battle of Battle Creek
"Would you prefer coffee or corn flakes before your cup of yogurt? Whatcha say, Emma? No enema anymore? Where are you going?!!!" 
John Harvey Kellogg ggbain.15047.jpg
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