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jnoble View Drop Down
Junior Executive
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Joined: 24 Jun 2012
Location: NJ
Status: Offline
Points: 199
Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote jnoble Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 06 Apr 2016 at 7:09pm
I've turned off this commerical on my favorite radio show countless times....
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MEllis72 View Drop Down
Commercial Hater
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Joined: 12 Dec 2016
Location: Denver, Co.
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Points: 10
Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote MEllis72 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 12 Dec 2016 at 10:28pm
Well stated, although I must add that the mid-western (I'll guess Chicago) whiny, "twang" of hers is irksome enough on its own; it puts me over the edge every time I hear this fake phone testimonial.   My ears bleed when I hear this know-it-all tell us all how good it is. This false character needs a theoretical bullet, and I've blissfully visualized a vengeful, but appropriate narrative of my own.  It involves a platoon of Schmeisser-armed Gestapo troops led by a Black-leather coated Oberleutnant, imported through a time warp.  They are told of her horrendous acts and given a tip on her exact whereabouts in the South-Side.  Aside from their own motivations to see her head roll, they are paid handsomely, in advance.  The re-purposed Gestapo pay a visit as she constantly yaks of Dinovite on the rotary phone, smoking a Camel non filter, and eating a breakfast of melba toast, Chock Full of Nuts coffee, and amphetamines.  In the fake phones' background, the sound of an old truck is heard pulling up to her building, screeching to a stop. There is a Shouting in guttural tones, Hobnailed boots hitting the street and running, then entering the building. After stomping up the stairs, Rifle butts begin pounding the door, a screaming Oberleutnant demands an entrance. Suddenly, the tinkling of glass-breaking is heard as grenades crash through a window, rolling on the floor next to the table. A wooden door shattering as it is kicked open. The whiny voice, reciting the product as happily as any other day, suddenly stops in mid-spelling of "D.I.N.O..." amidst the deafening explosions and chugging of machine pistols. The shooting stops momentarily, then the silence is interrupted by the sharp report of a pistol administering the coup de grace. A shell casing clinks on the floor after being ejected from the Oberleutnants' Luger . The body is then unceremoniously thrown out the window to the street.....After Action investigations determine she hasn't left the tenement building since 1950;  but stayed there, consuming Dinovite for herself only, drinking vodka, coffee, and watching Arthur Godfrey.
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Cranedy Pouth View Drop Down
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Joined: 02 Sep 2016
Location: Earth
Status: Offline
Points: 358
Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Cranedy Pouth Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 13 Dec 2016 at 10:46am
Wow. Welcome to CIH, Mellis. You will fit right in here handsomely judging by your explosive and biting Dinovite post.
Using nuclear weapons on problem people is not the answer, you psychopath!

Also, Keith Richards is a damn cockroach outliving everybody! LOL
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